Having a word with myself

Cont'd..............

2008-11-25T11:12:00.004Z

Another post from the usually very irregular blogger!
What's going on?
Re. last post, cont'd.....

8pm. Izzy..."DAD QUICK, GYPSY'S GOT A MOUSE AND SHE'S GOING TO EAT IT, QUICK DAD, SAVE IT BEFORE IT DIES!!!!!"

Rush out to the utility room where Gypsy has wedged herself behind the freezer, desperately trying to pin down the terrified mouse.
Kev pulls out the freezer. No mouse.
Out come the tumble dryer and washing machine. Still no mouse. Just a few mouse poos.
"It must be under the fridge-freezer!" Out comes the fridge-freezer.
Gypsy pounces on the mouse and goes for a quick sprint around the kitchen, into the dining room and under the sideboard.
Izzy grabs Gypsy, scolds her severely and bans her to the living room.
"Why don't you just let her catch the mouse and take it back outside?" I ask.

"NO THAT'S SO CRUEL, WE HAVE TO SAVE IT!!!!" wails Izzy.

"But that's what cats do, it's natures way Izzy" I tell her but to no avail.....she's on a mouse-saving mission.

The hunt continues. I decide to vacuum up the mouse poo and all the other crap that lurks underneath the utility room appliances.
The seemingly unharmed mouse is eventually found underneath the desk, inside the printer. It's gently set free into the garden where Gypsy was no doubt waiting to reclaim her prey and wondering at our ungrateful reaction towards her gift to us.

2am. Mouse drama long over and everyone fast asleep in bed.
The smoke alarm starts shrieking, waking Kev and I but luckily not the kids.
An investigation finds no smoke, with or without fire.
We slowly doze off to sleep again.

2.30am. Smoke alarm starts again.
Another investigation. No smoke.
Doze off again.

3am. Smoke alarm starts again. Deliberate whether or not to take the batteries out but I'm starting to get a bit paranoid by now. Every room is checked again.
No smoke.
Back to bed.

3.30am. The same all over again.
By now Kev has turned into Mr Angry and pulls smoke alarms from ceilings and swears alot.

4am-ish. Eventually drift off to sleep again.

5.30am. "Brep-bust peese Mammy?"

Nigella, eat your heart out!

2008-11-24T17:21:00.005Z

Today I am mostly being a domestic goddess.
I got up at the usual time of 6am, not because I wanted to but it's the only option when Carter decides it's getting up time. I'd already spent thirty minutes trying to ignore his little voice pleading with me, "brep-bust peese Mammy?".
Within the hour two kids up, dressed and eating breakfast.
One kid (Izzy) still in bed with an alleged bad tummy.
One husband still in bed, completely oblivious to anything involving kids prior to somewhere around 7.30am.
Two pesky cats fed and watered.
Packed lunches made.
Kev up.
Showered, dressed, hair done and slap on by 8am. Me not Kev
School shoes cleaned by 8.20am. By Kev not me.
Teeth brushed, hair plaited and ribbons tied by 8.25am. Eliza's, not mine.
Eliza off to school at 8.40am. By Kev as I had to stay at home with Izzy who incidently had made a miraculous recovery by 10am.
All the chaos left by breakfast sorted and kitchen clean and tidy (sort of) by 9.15am.
A very long list of christmas cake ingredients weighed, measured, sifted, grated, beaten, chopped, folded, blended and into a very large cake tin, into a warm oven by 10.30 am.
Impressed? Well I was.
I didn't have any brandy so had to use some of Kev's J.D. instead......
Kev has a bit of a thing for Nigella.
I personally think she's a tad on the large side but fair play to me, I did a pretty good impression of her with my domestic triumph this morning.
I am brunette again these days. (Couldn't sustain the blonde persona any longer)
My bum is considerably smaller than hers though.
Mind you after eating plenty of the cake, which I certainly will, my bum may give hers a run for it's money.
A run would do it good, get rid of a few pounds!!!
By 11am. I was sat down in my pinny having a coffee and feeling a bit smug.
By 2.30pm the cake was cooked and it looks fab!......not sure how it will look after the girls have decorated it in a couple of weeks time but it should taste good all the same.
If it doesn't, we will still have the mince pies. My Mum always makes us a couple of dozen at Christmas so no worries there.
It's now 6.25pm, dinner's in the oven waiting for Kev to get home, all the kids are bathed and pyjama'd so I really would have excelled myself if Carter wasn't curled up on my lap, fast asleep as I type this.
What happens now is Carter will wake up in a few hours and think it's morning, not settle down to sleep until way past his 7.15pm usual bed time but still manage to wake up far too early tomorrow morning and hassle me for his breakfast.....................

Give myself a slap.

2008-11-17T09:39:00.006Z

I feel bad for whinging about Kev going to Canada now.
Two reasons.
It was business not pleasure and he does work so bloody hard.....if he didn't there would be no business. If there were no business there would be no Company. If there were no Company we would have no income. If we had no income we..............you know what I'm trying to say?
The second reason is;
I got to thinking about my Mum.
When I was born in 1967, my Dad was a sergeant in the Army, serving in Aden.
This was one of the two occasions that my Dad was serving away from home for a whole year. He came home to see me very briefly when I was three months old and then returned to Aden. My Mum also had my sister who was five when I was born. My sister was born in Germany where they lived for a bit.
What I'm trying to say is, I really shouldn't bitch about Kev having to work away for the odd week here and there when it really is no big deal.
Having a newborn baby and a five year old to look after while your husband is in another country fighting a war is.
So that's why I feel bad about the whinging.
My Mum never whinges. Never has.
There have been times when it must have been really hard for her during the early years of their marriage. Although Mum did enjoy being a 'forces wife', she has told me of a time that we (Mum, my sister and me) lived in what were called sub-standard quarters and also when she lived in Germany and the horrendous birth of my sister in a military hospital. (Mum was put under general anaesthetic and the baby pulled out with forceps. Amongst other things.)
It all sounds like something out of a novel when she talks about it. Really old fashioned and really hard work.

Now we moan about having to do the washing.
Oh dear. Sorting it into loads and putting it into an automatic washing machine to do the rest.
Women of my Mums' generation would have been delighted to have done that. I remember the old twin-tub we had when I was a kid which seemed like hard work but there was a time when Mum washed all the clothes and bedding etc. by hand and in the sub-standard quarters she had to boil water over a fire!!!! All this with a young child to look after.
Bear in mind, my Mum was only nineteen when she married Dad and twenty when my sister was born.
Apparently the quarters were inspected regularly too, so had to be kept absolutely spick and span at all times. Maybe this is why my Mum still keeps her house immaculate!
So....no more whinging about looking after the kids and doing housework, I promise. Well....I'll try my best anyway!

Any suggestions? (God, I sound dull!)

2008-11-15T14:12:00.006Z

If only I had taken the career/rest of my life thing a bit more seriously at school.........

I've been having a confidence crisis lately.
In as much as 'what the hell am I going to do when Carter starts school in Sept.2011?'
Yes I know it's quite a way off but you know how it is....once the thought is there it just keeps bugging you until you find the answer.
The thing is, I've been raising kids for very nearly nineteen years so far, with just a brief period of part-time parenting when Rosie and Jake went to live with their father.
During that time I worked as a carer for adults with learning difficulties/mental health issues, so in a way with the job and the parenting it seemed like full-time anyway.....if you know what I mean.
Before Rosie was born - actually up until three weeks before she was born, ( Rosie was made to arrive three weeks before her due date) I worked as a bordereaux assistant/trainee insurance underwriter. Insurance clerk. An odd job for me, calculating household and commercial insurance premiums, considering I am almost phobic about anything mathematical.
A bit worrying really .......but if I had grossly miscalculated any required monthly premiums they would have been discovered, surely?.....
So, before the kids came along I worked in an office, after the first two (born just fourteen months apart) I did care-work but since then all I have done is child rearing which is the most difficult job of all if done well.....which I think I do.
The problem is, having done it for so long, I feel as if my brain couldn't cope with anything different.
A very long time ago, before kids and insurance premiums, I had a couple of part-time jobs.
A shop assistant in a large department store - the name of which begins with an abbreviated girls name and ends with the plural of a kind of meat often used in a sandwich, along with cheese. Hmmm, fine but a bit dull.
A barmaid. Now that was a great job. It was in a bikers pub. Why are there no bikers pubs anymore?...Oh yes, I know, it's because all the real bikers are over forty now so they are all settled down and a bit past going out on the p*** all weekend!
I loved working there. It was in the cellars of an old warehouse at the local city docks. Dark, smokey and perfect for loud, often live music.
Oh and there were lots of long haired bikers drinking there. Perfect for me at nineteen years old. I was in heaven!
I first met Kev there, serving him bottles of Newcastle Brown. He was seeing another girl then. Another girl who was a few years younger than me and very attractive.
I would write something bitchy but I actually really liked her so I can't.
I was a bit jealous of her though as the first time I met Kev I was smitten. Smitten. That's an old fashioned kind of word. Probably the wrong word. It was more like 'I fell in lust'.
Kev with his long hair, wearing a cut-off and riggies (remember them John G?)
That look really 'did it' for me but it's just a dim and distant memory.
Now Kev is a respectable company director with a wife, kids and an mpv. Still has all his bikes though.....and his riggies are probably rotting away up in the loft somewhere!

So.......let's have another look......

THINGS I'VE DONE

Left school with just four '0' levels worth mentioning. (oh, the shame!)
Y.T.S.-Artwork assistant. Learned to design and prepare artwork, cut and paste (by hand, not with a computer!)
Artwork assistant for a printing company. Learned to prepare artwork, use a big camera, dark room etc, preparing plates for printing machines.
Part-time shop assistant. Dull!!!
Barmaid. Fab!!!!
Bordereaux assistant.
Had some kids.
Care worker. Had to leave when pregnant with Izzy. An attempted strangulation (by a client, not me) and having tv. sets hurled at you when pregnant is a bit dodgy!
Had some more kids.

THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO DO BUT CAN'T

Writer. Only seem to be able to write about myself and/or my family due to my being at home with kids for so long. Write things as they are in my mind which is a bit too hap-hazard and cluttered for books and the like. Grammar not up to scratch, etc, etc...
Midwife. Would love to do this but my brain is unable to cope with the study needed to qualify.
Tv. personality/presenter. No good at fake smiles or being really nice to people I don't like. Can't act...didn't even do drama at school.
Nurse. Poorly people start to annoy me after about ten minutes. The only illness I seem to be able to cope with is mental illness. (Both mine and others)
Hairdresser. Too old/not trendy enough. Obviously too old as I used the word trendy!
Counsellor. Too outspoken.
Chef/Cook. Good cook but my presentation would let me down when under pressure. Meals served up in our house look a bit too abstract if I'm rushing too much!
Supermodel. Too old, too fat, too short, not photogenic, not pretty enough, can't walk in high heels, etc,etc,etc.

THINGS I COULD DO BUT DON'T WANT TO

Carer. (for the mentally challenged) Although I sometimes miss some of the old 'clients', I'm not sure I could deal with the stress now. My kids give me enough to stress about!
Barmaid. Not young/trendy enough.....the alternative being a Bet Lynch/Liz from Coronation Street type of barmaid which I'm not quite old enough for yet!
School dinner lady. Don't particularly like other peoples kids.
Shop assistant. Don't particularly like alot of the general public, especially those incapable of saying please and thankyou. I would be sarcastic and get the sack.

Now I realise that it's still three years before I will be able to join the workforce but even then it will have to fit in with school etc. By the time all my children have left school (2022 ish) and I am free to find full-time employment or 'find myself' (whatever that means), I will have been raising kids for THIRTY TWO years and I will be FIFTY FIVE!!!!!!

Bloody hell.

Short straw!

2008-11-03T14:53:00.012Z

It's dank. It's dull. It's England in November and it's cold.
I don't like cold.
I should live somewhere hot where jumpers and cosy socks aren't necessary. Somewhere I can sit outside in the evening when all the kids are in bed, wearing a t-shirt and flip-flops.
Not just a t-shirt and flip-flops of course. That would be scary. Just not a coat, hat, scarf and gloves......with tissues and chapstick at the ready.
The crisp, frosty mornings are ok but as soon as drizzle arrives on the scene I get cross.
The point is I'm a bit grumpy at the moment (hence all the moaning) because Kev's off to Canada on Saturday and I'm jealous. So I'm showing off a bit.
Ok it's work but that's not the point.
If he's leaving the country for a week to stay in some posh hotel in my book that's a holiday.
Kev will be in Toronto with interesting grown-ups.
I will be in England with the kids and the drizzle. Yeah ok, Canada will be cold too but I bet Canadian drizzle is much nicer than the English kind.
Still, on the positive side, our three youngest were used for the advertising which is being used to promote the product which they (Kev and his business partner) are taking to Canada. Which is nice because of course my children are indeed the loveliest, most photogenic little people in the world (I'm not joking) and it's nice to see them on 3 metre high pop-up stands helping in their Dad's quest to turn us into the family of a self-made millionaire! :)
It's good to have a dream.

Oh no......panic stations.....the estate agent has just 'phoned to ask if people can view the house tomorrow morning and I'm out straight from the school drop-off so now I have to do the pre-viewing tidy-up.
Check Jake hasn't left dirty boxers or lads-mags scattered around his room, Carter hasn't added anymore graffiti to our already rather large gallery or posted toy cars into any available crevice, Eliza has remembered to put her dirty washing in the basket rather than under her bed and Izzy hasn't left several arty/crafty half finished creations all over her bedroom floor.
Oh and move all the recycling containers from outside the door to the garage! (very admirable that we recycle most of our rubbish but it does make the place look like the local tip!)

Fingers crossed we actually get a proceedable buyer this time. I live in hope!

Eliza

2008-10-01T17:41:00.010+01:00

Last month Eliza started 'big school'.

Standing in the playground watching her line up with her peer group, I saw the other Mothers around me.

They all looked slightly worried, anxious and many were tearful.

I wasn't.
I felt excited.

I was a little bit sad that the part of her life where she spent most of her day with me was gone. Monday to Sunday with the brief separations for playgroup sessions four times a week barely making a dent in our day to day togetherness.

Just a little sad............but mostly I felt excited.

Excited for Eliza.

Of course in the four and a half years since Eliza charged at full speed ahead into my world, I have tried to be a deserving Mother to this very enigmatic little girl.

I have taught her to know right from wrong, to be polite and friendly, to have confidence etc. etc. and I've tried to ensure she has a good grasp of the basics for her school education but I know that school will open up a whole new world for her and if she's anything like her older brother and sisters, she will thoroughly enjoy it.
Eliza is very small (some of the clothes she still wears are labelled for twelve to eighteen month old children), with long fine blonde hair and huge blue saucer like eyes (actually more dinner plate than saucer!), framed by ridiculously long dark eyelashes.
Oh yes, she looks like an angel but as we all know........... looks can be deceiving.
Eliza is obsessive, compulsive, bad tempered, stubborn beyond belief, sweet, gentle, funny, enchanting................all in all bloody hard work and absolutely wonderful rolled into one very small pretty package!
Small and delicate in appearance Eliza may be but she will not let this be a reason for anyone to cross her.
Which is great.
Her ambition (in her own words) is 'to grow up to be just the same as Rosie but with long hair'.
I'll admit that I feel a little disappointed that she aspires to be just like her older sister not her Mummy but after careful consideration I realise that given a choice between a very scatterbrained forty-one year old with a wardrobe made up of jeans, t-shirts and scruffy old boots, with slightly more grey hair and belly flab than is desirable and a nearly nineteen year old with a washboard stomach (complete with sparkly belly button piercing), cool tattoos just below the bikini-line (a completely flab-free bikini-line!) with a huge collection of cool clothes, jewellery and makeup etc., etc., I can understand her choice of role model!

Soon Eliza will be learning to read which is one of my favourite periods of the Motherhood experience.
When a child can curl up with a book and get lost in the contents it really is great to witness.
All that 'stuff' going into those still fresh young minds.
Fantastic.
At the moment Eliza is still at the stage where information about her days at school is not particularly forthcoming. I suppose because the first term for reception pupils is still primarily play with a few bits of learning sneaked in here and there so as not to scare them off too soon!?
So the response I get from Eliza to my cheery enquiries about her day during our walk home from school are almost dismissive, as if she has been going for years rather than a few weeks.
Which I suppose suggests she is taking it all in her stride.
Which is good.
My little girl with her slightly too-big school uniform and hair ribbons to match is off..........she has left the starting blocks and is now a schoolgirl with all those years of fun, frustration, pride, worry and wonder ahead of her.
I've always considered independence to be one of the most important things to teach your kids and I'm sure Eliza is more than ready to rise to the challenge.
Good luck littl'un, see ya later.x

Oh dear..................

2008-09-17T09:09:00.005+01:00

Oh dear........you're absolutely right Sally. The simple truth is that I was too lazy to get my arse into gear and write a proper post so I just picked a few of my favourite tracks and posted them instead!
The trouble with me is because I love the music I listen to so much I expect everybody else to love it too.
The fact is of course that other people are quite capable of listening to their own music of choice so don't have to listen to mine!!!
Sorry - won't do it again! :)

P.S. Still on for coffee later Sally?x
P.S.again......I think as I could have put this as a comment on my last post this is yet another example of posting any old tat just for the sake of posting. Whoopsie!!!!

Love it...............

2008-09-13T10:44:00.010+01:00

Another cop-out for a post I know but I'm running against the clock this morning.

Listen to the whole recording.
If you don't feel all lovely afterwards you have no soul. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSLQMNFdEf0
and this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxAI6Yd6diI
and this........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHmNEQYc3js
and this.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSD4Id_oazM

A.W.O.L.?

2008-08-07T20:49:00.003+01:00

I have been very lazy with blogging. Again.

This time though I have a proper excuse.

I spent a few days in hospital following an operation. Suffice to say it was concerning 'lady-parts' and it's just as well my baby-bearing days are over!

It has left me feeling a bit feeble which has resulted in a complete lack of blogger enthusiasm.

My blood pressure is always on the low side but whilst in hospital it was stupidly low along with my iron levels......medication was prescribed but I'm not sure it's doing the trick as I'm still bloody shattered! I did apparently lose rather alot of blood during the op but not quite enough to warrant a transfusion. Phew! My blood is always a bit of a pain in the arse as I have an unusual blood group and rhesus factor along with the presence of antibodies just to liven things up a bit!

Attention seeker!:)

On the up-side...........

I had a lovely rest whilst in hospital. All required sustenance was brought to my bedside and I managed to finish a book I'd been trying to get into for ages.

I didn't even have to get up for a wee thanks to an attached wee-bag which was duly emptied on a regular basis by lovely attentive, friendly N.H.S. nurses.

It made feeling so feeble, being attached to several medical contraptions and having needles stuck into me at alarmingly regular intervals, more bearable.

Loads of thanks and admiration to all the N.H.S. staff involved during my care. I can't fault them.

On the down-side...........

All my visitors saw my wee-bag.

Apart from Sally and co. who thankfully came after I'd been 'disconnected' so to speak.

Oh yes...and I'm not to drive for four to six weeks. Inconvenient!

Anyhow, now I'm back home having to listen to the kids bitching with eachother all day and moaning at me for not being able to take them out.

There is something that kind of makes up for it all though.....................

I have a list of things in my after care notes that I'm not to do, which include

No lifting.

No vacuuming.

No ironing.

RESULT!!!!!! :)

Old dogs and wet patches....

2008-06-13T15:29:00.011+01:00

Oh hooray, I am thrilled.

This year the playgroup float is to be One Hundred And One Dalmations and you've guessed it.....I have to be on it. I have no choice as Eliza will be one of the kids made to dress up in an ill-fitting doggy-costume, have their face painted and told to smile, wave at the crowds and look as if they are having a great time.

The last float I had to be on was an under-the-sea theme when Izzy was at playgroup. I was sat amongst the mermaids, starfish, crepe-paper seaweed and the father of one of the other kids dressed as Neptune playing 'happy music' on his 'sound-system' (fancies himself as some sort of M.C.!), with two rather large wet patches on my t-shirt which were making the colour from the crepe-paper flowers stuck to it run all down the front.

I was still breastfeeding Eliza then and the memory of having to stick her head up my soggy stained top every half-hour whilst trying to keep my eye on a rather excited four-year-old dressed in a mermaid costume charging around a field full of jam stalls, shire horses, bouncy castles and locals who no matter how rural the surroundings still seem to frown upon breastfeeding in public however discreet, still makes me anxious.

So I have slight anxiety when I realise that the village carnival is nigh.

No, I'm not breastfeeding any offspring this year but it's the thought of sitting there grinning and waving like a fool wearing fake dog-ears that's bothering me.

Kev reaction when I was moaning about it last night was "Oh for gods sake don't be such a miserable old trout, after all it won't be difficult for you and a few of the other Mums to act like a load of old dogs for an hour or so!"

He's so funny....................................

I won't tell you my reply, it was far too rude!

I'm really looking forward to Monday. Rosie is due home from her fortnights holiday in the Maldives. Lucky girl. I can't wait to see her and hear all about it. I've 'phoned her a couple of times but just for quick chats to make sure she's ok. The details will have to wait until I see her!:)

Proud

2008-05-26T23:14:00.022+01:00

My Special Place by Rosie

Sitting in the corner, surveying my surroundings, I notice the things others overlook.
The snail on the bird table, the scattered seed at its base, the gentle bleating of lambs in a nearby field. I decide to visit them. Pushing my chair back I knock a pot, the rich aroma drifts towards me as vibrant orange petals float down onto the weathered tiles. The clicking of my shoes on the patio is greeted by a chorus of birdsong. I glance up to see the birds but my eye is drawn to the trees, towering at the top end of this haven. The yellow tiles spread out like a desert, thankful for the oasis of potted plants randomly placed throughout. As I weave through the pots I look down and notice the moss growing over the corner of a tile, olive green in colour and slippery looking. I reach the steps, uneven and wet; I take great care in avoiding the cracks. Ignoring the pebbles the dogs kicked up I wander up the meandering path.
I pick up the damp, fresh fragrance, so much nicer than the average smell. Droplets of water have collected in the tulips that were planted earlier this spring. The large grass arena that I step into is enclosed with varying types of roses. Soft pink roses, deep red roses and my favourite, the white roses. I walk around, taking time to smell them. Stepping off the path the grass soaks my now bare feet. I can feel the blades shifting underneath my weight and the impressions of my feet make me laugh. The plum tree is nearby but I can’t get any closer for the fallen fruit keeps me away. Its royal purple colour; keen to stand out against the dull brown bark. I sneeze, startling a bird in the plum trees canopy. As it flies off, the tree shakes and I am sprayed with the morning dew that had settled on its leaves. The water drips off my arms and onto the grass. I bend down. An ant is struggling to get over a stick so I remove this obstacle and he carries on his way eager to take home his find.
My feet are getting cold now so I head towards the bench. Its wooden frame intertwined with the tiny flowers at its feet. The bench is wet so I tiptoe to the nearby shed. The rusty padlock unwillingly creaks and the door swings open. A musty smell sweeps over me. It takes a while for my eye to adjust to the light. Tools lay scattered on the floor, tucked into a bed of cobwebs. I spy a cloth hanging precariously from the lawnmower. Reaching across I quickly grab it and jog back to the bench.
I wipe the bench over and sit down. I look around. The wind has picked up and a gentle breeze stirs the leaves on our apple tree making the birdfeeder swing, its mesh casting interesting shadows onto other branches. The greenhouses tall pointed roof can hardly be seen and the tomatoes; not quite ripe, remain hidden by my house.
"Rosie” my Gran calls. I can hear the chink as my tea is placed on the patio table. Leaping up from my seat I dive onto the path and hop the steps two at a time, careful to avoid the wet patches. The blur of bright colours wash over me and I stumble as I reach the last step. I sit at the table. I am lucky to have such a gorgeous retreat. Before I have time to eat any tea the gentle aroma of the flowers and lullaby of the birds carry me off into a deep sleep.

I was having one of those crap-weather-bank-holiday days. You know, when you do things that you can never be bothered to do any other time.

I decided to sort out some drawers. In one of our many muddled drawers I found 'My Special Place'.

It was written by Rosie, four years ago. She was fourteen years old.

When Rosie left year eleven her English teacher told her that after completing her A levels she would almost certainly be offered a place at Oxford or Cambridge should she apply. As you may know Rosie decided not to follow that road.

Ah well. She's happy, she's beautiful and I am so proud!

I have scanned it in for you to read. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do.

May Fayre

2008-05-18T00:56:00.013+01:00

www.fugly.com/pictures/14587/angry-old-lady.html

Bugger.
Another evening wasted - dozing on the sofa.
Why am I always so knackered by 9pm?
I don't get it.
Yeah, I get up around six every morning but to be perfectly honest my days aren't that busy. Izzy off to school at 8.30, Eliza to playgroup at 9 then just Carter and I pootling about doing our thing until 12, pick Eliza up, lunch, Izzy home at 3.20, dinner for 6-ish, dog-walking, animals fed, baths had, littlest kids to bed by 7.30, Izzy by 9 (weekend bedtime) and that's it.
I don't spend my day running a company, personally assisting some high-flying businessman, teaching a classroom full of over-opinionated kids, cooking posh cuisine in a top restaurant or anything else particularly full-on, so WHY!?
Could it be that I'm getting too past it to be dancing to the tune of a one year old daily, that I'm suffering from some dreadful illness that makes me shut down at sun down or is it just that I'm a lazy cow?
I reckon it's my sofa.
It has magic sleep-inducing powers that envelope me as soon as my bum hits the seat.
Every day for the past week I've said to myself "I'm going to do a bit of blogging tonight, catch up with everyone and maybe post something mildly interesting".
Yeah right! - the most I manage is a quick look at my unsurprisingly sparse emails then my bum is drawn to the sofa...AGAIN.
"Right!" I thought on waking up at midnight on the sofa once again - "I'm going to go to bed and think of something to write a post about."
So here I am sat in bed scribbling stuff which I hope to make some sense of tomorrow and type into a post.
I would like to write about our visit to Halletts Mountain but that would require suitable effort to do justice to Meredics' beautiful home.
Not some late night scribbling of some semi-comatose forty-something, moaning old bag......
Exciting thing that have happened lately......
Three baby pigs born. Not exciting at all unless you are a big guinea-pig fan.
Just one not really exciting but quite nice thing really - Kev, Rosie, Gary (Rosie's boyfriend), Jake and I went out for a meal on Monday night to celebrate Kev's 43rd birthday.
We went to a rather nice country pub and had a lovely meal but the young man who waited on us was, although very nice, as camp as christmas!
This is all fine but when Kev has a few ales these days (not being used to drinking much anymore), he gets a bit silly.
To cut a long story short, Kev said something to Jake which resulted in them both spiralling into that uncontrollable, hysterical laughter - you know, the kind you can't stop, the kind that makes you hoot and wheeze, leaving you with tears rolling down your cheeks and unable to breathe. And sometimes the odd snot-bubble.
This continued for a good ten minutes. Luckily there were no other diners in the same part of the restaurant as us which was just as well. We were the kind of table that could annoy some people, especially very sensible people with no sense of humour.
So, a good night was had. Lots of food, lots of drink and lots of laughter.

Saturday we have the delights of Izzys' school May Fayre to look forward to.
Call me a miserable old bint but I bloody dread the May Fayre.
Table tops full of tat for sale (proceeds to the church most likely) - parents are asked to donate stuff for their kids to take into school which they then have to go to the fayre and buy back again.
Over priced, under filled hot-dogs, rubbish face-painting which looks like the sort of art that Carter often creates with a crayon on most of the walls in our house, cups of nasty instant coffee and grey tepid tea, cruddy tombolas, name the stuffed toy animal which looks as if it has been made by someone from the local residential home for the old mad folk, lucky-dips that are SO NOT lucky, a coconut shite and the school choir singing about how lucky they are to have Jesus in their lives (which is always a bit disturbing to a non-believer like myself)...
Now I know that Izzy won't read this so it's ok.
So tomorrow at 2pm we will have to feign enthusiasm and trot off to school with our hard earned cash and fritter it away on stuff we don't really want.
We have no choice.
Izzy is in the choir and is very excited about the whole thing.

So, spare a thought for me on Saturday whilst you're all having a great time and keep your fingers crossed for me to win a bottle in the raffle rather than a box-set of old-lady soaps that always smell like toilet cleaner or shake'n'vac.
Moan moan, whing whinge, grumble grumble........................

p.s.
As I am typing this up Saturday night, after having been to the dreaded May Fayre I can confirm it was crap.
Even more crap than in previous years.
Oh and I didn't win anything in the raffle - not even a bottle of pissy plonk......which I suppose is a good thing really.......

Happy Birthday Girls!

2008-04-30T09:32:00.013+01:00

This photograph was taken nearly four years ago.

Isabelle and Eliza celebrated their birthdays this week, just two days apart.

Eight and four.......how time flies!

We had a joint party for them on Sunday.

Around fifty kids.

Madness.

Lots of fun though!

Love it.......watch the film (Into The Wild), it's really sad.:(

2008-04-20T22:11:00.003+01:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXVpjjpwNss

Eddie is a God..........

Lovely.........

2008-04-14T17:42:00.003+01:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p62rfWxs6a8

I love this. It's one of our many 'our songs'. Kev reckons I'm a hopeless romantic. Can't think why.............

Happy Birthday Jake!

2008-04-11T23:27:00.007+01:00

A very happy birthday to my beautiful Jake born at 3.17am, 12/04/91

Was going to put a baby photo on here but that just made me feel all soppy so opted for this rather cool one instead.
Sorry to abandon you for the weekend in favour of visiting Meredic but I'm sure you won't mind us being out of the way!

We all love you loads!!!xxxxxx

Planet Izzy

2008-04-10T23:04:00.007+01:00

Yeah, I know it's a bit mean, having a laugh at my daughters expense but just found this one and it made me smile. Izzy is sound asleep and yes, she has wrapped herself up inside her quilt-cover. Strange child.....must get it from Kev!

Planet Kev & Sarah

2008-04-09T23:00:00.008+01:00

Snippets of conversation between Kev and I today.

Driving home from Bromsgrove this afternoon.
Me "Look at those clouds, the big fat static ones with the little floaty ones in front floating by really quickly"
Kev "Yeah, they're called cunnilingus"
Both Snigger like ten year old boys.

Ten minutes ago.
Me " Are the cats both in?"
Kev "Yeah...well Domino is, I got him with the water-pistol earlier."
Me "Oh yeah.....he was shagging the cushion again wasn't he?"

Is this normal for a 41 and nearly 43 year old?
I do worry sometimes.............................

Stoopid is as stoopid does?

2008-04-08T17:53:00.041+01:00

Me after a few bevvies..........

Kev and I went out to the Golden Hart at Nettleton Bottom for a meal last night.

The food there is good and our meal was lovely. I had chilli-beef with chocolate and rice, mmmm, and Kev had medallions of ostrich with new potatoes and vegetables which was delicious!

Kev was driving so could only have one pint of ale but I drank rather alot of very nice red wine. Not being used to drinking any more it doesn't take long before I get a bit squiffy so Kev was quite pleased to have a relatively cheap date.

After our dessert which neither of us could finish despite them being delicious (almond & honey cream cake with greek yoghurt & honey ice cream and pear and basil cheesecake, mmmm), we decided to leave for home and relieve my parents of babysitting duty.

Conversation driving down Birdlip Hill towards Gloucester...............

Me "Oh the lights.......looks pretty doesn't it?"

Kev "Look at that, it's amazing really isn't it? That's the old Roman road that comes from Cirencester to Gloucester and it's still a road now, still straight, still used, blah blah, history, blah, amazing, blah blah blah....................."

Me "Yeah...............hey what's that?"

Kev "What?"

Me "Up there"

Kev "Where?"

Me "In the sky"

Kev "Sare, for f**ks sake, it's the moon"

Me "Oh..................Oh yeah it is, isn't it?"

Kev "Bloody hell Sare, sometimes you really can be as thick as shit!"

Me "Well, I have got dyed blonde highlights and fake boobs - what d'you expect!!!?"

The annoying thing is I know how dim I can sound sometimes but I also know that I am actually quite clever.

I'm just not very good at showing it :P.....................

41, going on 12.....................

2008-04-07T08:58:00.009+01:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
Yes, it's another one! Lucky me..........

Things to do this week.
Today
Open all birthday cards to read about how lovely I am and how much all my family and friends love me. Check for cash etc.
1.30pm. Leave all kids with Mum and go for a massage.(Pressie from Mum & Dad)
Have a bath, tart myself up and put on my beautiful new necklace.(Pressie from 3 youngest kids).
Get taken out for a nosh-up by Kev.
Tuesday
Leave kids to run riot in Sally's garden all morning while friends Hayley, Sally and I sit around eat cake, drink coffee and chat.
Wednesday
Bromsgrove for a boob check-up. Lunch out.(Kids to Mums for the day)
Thursday
Book in Spa-treatments. (Pressie from Rose)
Friday
Spend best part of the day staring at my very cool, very sexy black and white canvas print of the other man in my life. Eddie sex-god Vedder.(Pressie from Jake). I love him.
Visit Dad to give him his birthday cards and gifts.
Saturday
Celebrate Jake's 17th birthday.
Sunday
Try very hard to catch up and comment on blogs of everyone who has commented on mine in the past few months.......Pierre, Chrisb, Akelamalu, Belle, Rob Clack, Jayne, Little Miss Moi, Karmyn,etc,etc.
Respond to all comments on last post.

Hmmmm......that's my kind of week! :)

New arrivals :)

2008-02-29T15:37:00.022Z

It's been awhile since I last blogged......I'm not sure where to start so I'll just do my usual....waffle, witter and ramble about 'stuff' that probably isn't that interesting to anyone apart from me.....................

We had a great christmas. Nothing more interesting to say about it.

This year has started off pretty well, so far.

Hmmm....It could take some time to get back into this blogging malarkey......

Jake left sixth form in favour of working as a trainee landscape gardener. Initially I was a bit disappointed that like Rosie he wouldn't be completing his A levels and then on to Uni. etc. which is what I thought was best for him but I have been proved wrong. Since he's been working (very hard), Jake has obviously found his feet and changed from a restless, moody teenager to a happy (though very tired!) young man.
He really is great to have around and I am so proud of him.
Rosie is still working for Ernest Jones and enjoying it. She is off to the Maldives for a fortnights holiday in the spring with her boyfriend (who just happens to be Jake's boss at work) and is very happy and enjoying life.
Again I am proud.
Izzy is her usual lively, happy self, doing well at school and Eliza is due to start school in September, enjoying pre-school and is as contrary as ever.
Carter is growing fast. He is so easy, loving and funny. He's also still the most beautiful little boy on earth even with his face grazed all down one side after having a fight with some steps in my parents garden yesterday. He fell down, cried for a couple of seconds, got up and carried on playing with his ball, laughing and smiling.....life really is a bowl of cherries for Carter!

Now......lets talk about ME!

As some of you may know, I am soon to be 41 and I have 5 kids.

Bear with me...this is going somewhere......

I've always been a bit 'runty' so to speak..... you know, barely five feet tall and somewhere around 7 and a half to 8 stone with a small frame and a very small chest to boot. After breastfeeding all the kids for around a year each I was left with the bust measurement of a puny adolescent girl.:(

Having reached a stage in my life where I know I will absolutely, definitely, under no circumstances have any more kids, I decided to do something about my body which was looking a bit sorry for itself.........and get myself sorted with some new boobers! Yes I know my body has been messed about with quite alot medically, with the kids, miscarriages blah blah blah but all that wasn't through choice....this time it was.....I'VE HAD A BOOB-JOB! and I am absolutely over the moon with my new arrivals!!!:)

No more will I be wearing training-bras for pre-pubescant girls - I intend to fill my smalls drawer with some not-so-small grown-up ladies bras! Woooohoooo!!

Out with the 32 AA's and in with the 32 C/D's!

At the moment I have to wear those ultra-restricting, not very attractive industrial strength sports bras (day and night) but on the horizon I see beautiful cleavage displaying, boob-enhancing bras aplenty!

This is how we've justified the extravagance (not that we've needed to so far but just incase!).

I work my backside off running around after all the kids and run a busy home day in day out etc,etc and Kev works his bo****ks off to earn enough for us all to have a decent standard of living, the kids don't want for much (certainly not attention) so.....new boobs it is!

Please don't get me wrong - I haven't gone completely mad and ended up with boobs bigger than my head...they've just gone from teeny weeny lady-bumps to in Kev's words, "a right shirt-full!". The same Kev who always assured me that he didn't like big boobs but is now a man obsessed!!!

A bit of a bummer for him at the moment though as they are still a bit off-limits. (only had the op. on the 19th).

He says he feels like a kiddy in a sweetshop with no pocket money.

I could waffle on for hours about the whole boob-job experience but I suspect it's getting a bit tedious so I'll change the subject - maybe I will post about the actual hospital stay another time.

Sorry for being awol for so long - I will try to keep my attendance more regular but don't hold your breath...you know what I'm like!
I will look at everyone's blogs asap. Have only managed a quick look at John, Sally and Meredics' so far and haven't commented yet!

Thanks everyone who emailed asking after me,...all two of you!:

Love,

S. X

p.s. John G....if you read this, re;your post dated 19th Feb (day of my op.).....

NO!!! I for one still wouldn't take it up the a*se! How rude! :D

Silver linings..................

2007-12-06T11:20:00.002Z

Eliza

Quite often things happen which remind me how lucky I am.

Group B Streptococcus (http://www.dhpe.org/infect/strepb.html) has been featured on our regional news today.

I've had lots of complications during my pregnancies (pre-eclampsia, my rh.negative blood mixing with babies rh.positive blood, etc,etc ) BUT I have five beautiful, healthy kids.

Yes, I've had eleven miscarriages BUT I have also had years of investigation into the recurrent miscarriages under the care of my consultant gynaecologist and during these investigations, before I conceived Eliza, they discovered I had Group B strep. It wasn't the reason for any of the previous or future losses but it was noted for any future pregnancies.

On finding I was pregnant with Eliza, it was arranged for me to be administered antibiotics four hourly during labour.

Eliza however came in a bit of a hurry.....too quickly for me to have any antibiotics (which was scary!), so we had to stay in hospital after the birth for them to treat Eliza with antibiotics instead.

We came home after a week or so and she was fine.....still is apart from a bad-temper and an appetite which would struggle to satisfy a very small mouse!

So, I conclude that if I hadn't been under investigation for recurrent miscarriages this may have been a very different story.........so sorry if it's a bit corny but hence the title of this post!

By the way, I am a very happy person at present .....Rose has moved back in so I now have a full house in time for Christmas!!!:)

This does happen to me at least ten times a day...........

2007-11-28T23:08:00.001Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sE1fDUUfoCI

Mel

2007-11-28T14:37:00.002Z

I remember the feeling.

That nervousness that comes with doing something new and totally unfamiliar for the first time.

Something that is unavoidable no matter how much you want it to be.

I was nearly fifteen when we moved house to live in a village eighteen miles or so from the little town I had lived in since I was five.

I left the home I had known for most of my childhood.

The home that was just a short stroll from friends houses, youth club, the bus-stop where we would catch the bus a short way to the weekly disco on friday nights, the local corner shop at the end of our road, the town cinema which was affectionately known as the Flea-pit and the library which I loved.

All things familiar to me where the changes happened that were part of my journey from innocent childhood to not quite so innocent adolescence.

Fortunately I didn't have to change schools but I could no longer make the six mile round trip from home to school and back again, walking with a friend whilst discussing important issues such as the easiest way to modify our school uniforms, what we were wearing to the next disco, the best way to apply eyeliner and who had 'got off' with who.

The last stop before arriving at school was the little shop where we would pool our loose-change, filtered from the dinner money given to us by our far too trusting parents.

We usually had enough to purchase a pack of 10 number 6 and a packet of polos to share.

Yes, at nearly fifteen I was a social smoker.

Couldn't stand it really but in the eighties it was compulsory if you liked to consider yourself a bit of a rebel. (Albeit a rebel without a clue!)

After the house move I was to catch a bus.

A bus full of kids who attended a different school.

Complete strangers.

This was the stuff of nightmares for a nearly fifteen year old girl who was a bit of a leader within the comfort zone of her established group of friends but a little unsure of herself in the company of strangers.

8.10 am....I stood at the bus stop, wearing my obligatory too-short school skirt, black woolly over-knee socks, black Monkey-boots, white school shirt and denim jacket (Levi red-label of course!) which I could just about get away with calling school uniform providing I wore a school tie (tied in whatever was considered to be the cool way at the time).

The senior school which I attended was 'a bit lax' to say the least and having kids attend regularly was considered an achievement. Their attire was not really a priority......which was fine by me.

The bus stopped.

I got on, glancing around quickly, making sure that I made eye-contact with nobody.

There was no way I was sitting at the front with the geeks but I knew better than to head for the back where only the most respected, popular and cool kids would be sat.

I opted for an empty seat about three rows from the back.

I sat down, desperately trying to look at ease but actually feeling as if I had a huge neon arrow above my head with the words 'NEW GIRL' on it in flashing letters.

I rifled in my school bag for my rather battered pack of Embassy Number 1's ( I had moved on from the Number 6's in an endeavour to appear a more accomplished smoker) and 'sparked up'.

A tap on my shoulder filled me with terror....I surely couldn't have upset anyone already.....I had avoided all eye-contact!

I turned to see a girl with crimped brown hair and big brown eyes perfectly lined with black kohl liner......she had a huge smile....

"Are you Sarah?" she asked.

It turned out, she knew a boy I was friends with and he had asked her to look out for me.

"Come and sit at the back with us"...........

And so began my friendship with the loveliest, funniest, kindest girl you could ever meet.

My best mate Mel.

We became very best mates which was lucky as we were the only two girls of our age in the village.

Mel soon introduced me to the rest of 'the gang' who lived locally.They were an interesting and rather eclectic group of lads.

One of them, a very good-looking mixed-race lad nick-named Chalky went on to be my first love. Chalky was probably considered a bit of a novelty in our village as he was the only person who wasn't white! He was lovely and my first 'proper' boyfriend.

There were a dozen or so of us altogether but only about half a dozen of us who hung around together every night.

Our choice of places to hang around was very limited.

The rec, the bus-stop or 'The Shed'.

The Shed was an old unused chicken-shed in a field on a nearby farm.

It wasn't at all smelly and was perfect for sitting and chatting in when the weather was bad.

Many good times were had in that shed.....fairly innocent on the whole and in some ways essential for a not-too-naive passage into young adulthood.

Over the following years Mel and I remained best friends.

Long hot summer days, walking to the village outdoor swimming-pool wearing our beloved indian sandals and bikinis under indian shirts and cut-off jeans.
Days spent in Mels' big house on a hill, listening to Rush, Bad Company, Van Halen, Led Zep and AC/DC.

Bus rides to Gloucester to purchase our indian shirts, skirts and sandals from the market.

Motorbikes, crazy weekends spent at the cottage Mel rented with a long-term boyfriend when we were eighteen, Southern Comfort and drunken impersonations of Tina Turner and Mick Jagger.

I absolutely love that girl.

We have seen eachother through some very bad times but we have also laughed SO MUCH.

We were always on the same wavelength and totally understood one another.

Pissed eachother off a bit sometimes.....

Mels' total disorganisation and laid-back attitude, bizarrely coupled with slightly neurotic tendencies drove me mad and my constant need for routine and slightly autistic tendencies frustrated her a bit.....but we never ever fell out.

We have always managed to make eachother laugh and enter our world of Sarah and Mel where all bad things never seem quite so bad after all.

In the earlier years of our friendship we planned our future with all the naivety and romanticism of two very optimistic wanabee-hippy dreamers.

We were going to live in a big old house in a field in the country.

It would be a communal hippy-house, we'd spend our days drawing, painting and being creative and our nights sat around campfires talking and singing along to someone playing a guitar.

To pay for anything we might need (ie; indian sandals, skirts and shirts, incense sticks etc,etc,) we would sell our creative masterpieces at local markets.

What wonderful dreams.

Regular readers of my blog will know some of my life-history since leaving home. Mels' has also been quite eventful.

The long-term boyfriend Mel had back then ( I'll call him J ), was diagnosed with Hodgkins disease. He went on to have intensive treatment including chemotherapy which resulted in him losing every hair on his body.

Mel nick-named him Morph when this happened.

They had a fantastic , fiery, passionate relationship and the two of them along with myself and my boyfriend at the time had some amazing times together.

A trip to Hay-On -Wye to look around the book shops that turned into a mad hike in the hills collecting magic mushrooms in J's woolly hat springs to mind....

Mel later went off to Europe which is when their relationship came to an end. She lived and worked in Crete for a while.

This was during the first few years of my first marriage.....

J went on to find happiness with someone else and was married but the bastard cancer finally took him from this world a couple of years ago.

Mel and I and many other old friends went to the funeral which was sad beyond words.

J was really was one of those people who had a genuine zest for life and deserved to live forever. No bullshit.

Mel is now a fantastic Mum to four boys and is still as funny and lovely as she ever was.

I can't write too much about our lives since leaving home as I would be sat here tapping away all night but suffice to say that we are both busy Mums getting on with our day to day lives, leaving very little time to get together and catch up.

Also, too-laid-back Mel has never learned to drive which doesn't bloody help!

So, after all this reflection all I really want to say is.....

"I miss you mate!"

loads of love,

Sarah X

I tried for ages to upload a scanned photo of me & Mel at a bike-run in 1998 but my blog was messing me about so I gave up and went to bed!

Just because.......

2007-11-06T22:09:00.002Z

WARNING......OUTRAGEOUSLY SELF - INDULGENT POST FOLLOWING!....

Yeah, I know. Looking at loads of other peoples photos is probably a bit boring but I've posted them just because......... I quite like them.:)

Half-term holiday. Visiting the showcaves, kids loving it but me not looking very happy.......bloody freezing, despite wearing two sweaters, my jacket and Kev's coat!

Domino the-stupid-cat, Gypsy the-witchy-cat 'chillaxing' and watching a bit of tv., Izzy, Eliza on the beach at Mudeford, Carter playing in the sunshine, "can I watch this one?", a quick play before bedtime and snoozing after bedtime stories.

WHY WE CALL HIM SMILER!

I'm a bit chuffed with my littl'uns!:)

Friday confessional

2007-11-02T23:14:00.002Z

Domino the-cute-kitten

Domino the-stupid-cat

I know. I've been lazy with blogging lately.

Now and again I've checked my emails to see if I have any new comments to publish. I've also sent an email or two . That's it.

Not a very attentive blog friend and for that I apologise but it's not for the first time and it won't be the last.

You see, although I have five kids ranging in ages from one to nearly eighteen years old, I am fundamentally lazy.

I do what I have to do but don't tend to do more.

More than I have to.

Or rather, more than I feel I should.

I get up every morning between 5.30 and 6am.
I get my 7,3 and 1 year old up, washed, nappy changed (Carter), dressed, breakfasted, teeth brushed, hair brushed and plaited/tied into pig-tails (not Carter!), ship them off to school/playgroup, do daily washing, cleaning and cooking, shopping, ferry Izzy to gym and swimming lessons then home two evenings a week, help with homework, sew badges on to leotards and swimsuits when needed, part-time taxi driver for 16 year old son and 17 year old daughter, tend to pets needs,ie; vet visits, hutch cleaning etc, search for and return about 20 library books fortnightly, keep track of family birthdays/anniversaries/visits etc (both sides), fullfill playgroup session and committee duties, read bedtime stories.....and ALWAYS manage to slap a bit of makeup on before leaving the house (vanity will out!!!) everyday.

BUT......

I don't invite my kids friends to play/tea on a regular basis, spend hours sitting with my youngest two armed with flashcards and other educational aids, bake cakes (except for birthdays and christmas), attend evening classes (gave the gym up ages ago), do ANY housework once three youngest kids are in bed or keep up with everyone's blogs and comment daily..............

I clean my skirting boards about once a year (not weekly like my Mum!), I NEVER invite anyone round after 6pm.......really can't be bothered, and I only dust when you can write your name in it.

Sometimes I feel huge guilt (for about 30 seconds) when Izzy's at school, Eliza's at playgroup, Carter is bimbling around playing with his toys and I sit, drink coffee, eat biscuits and watch morning tv.for an hour or so.

This is my second favourite time of day.

After bedtime which is my first favourite.

I could be battling with my Big Ironing Monster, dusting very dusty bookshelves or cleaning sticky-finger-marked doors/walls/tv. screens, applying 'Vanish' to various stains on chairs, sofas and carpets around the house, cleaning equally sticky-finger-marked windows or indeed washing skirting-boards but...............

Nah.........

A jug of italian filter coffee, a packet of chocolate digestives and a bit of Phil and Fern wins every time!!!!!

ps.
A HUGE THANKYOU! To Sally, for rescuing Domino-the-stupid-cat on Monday night! X

Caves, auditions and general witter......

2007-10-25T16:30:00.003+01:00

Izzy

To save ourselves the guilt-trip of Izzy going back to school with no interesting half-term holiday news to talk of, we made sure that we did 'stuff'.

The first was to visit Kevs' Aunt and Uncle in Mudeford. Auntie 'Ron is the elder sister of Kevs' late Mum who as some of you may know, died of cancer age 36.

Kev was just six at the time and has quite vague memories of his Mum....just snapshots really so it is lovely to meet up with 'Ron as she loves to chat about her sister and always tells us lots of stuff that we wouldn't otherwise know.

Kevs' Dad is great but being a bloke, doesn't tend to remember the little things that 'Ron does....and Kev loves to hear about his Mum.

The last time we visited 'Ron and Ted was when Izzy was a baby so they had not met Eliza or Carter before. 'Ron is over the moon that we chose her maiden name for our sons first name!

We also visited cousins etc.so it was a lovely weekend which will give us lots of happy memories to talk about.

Travelling one day and coming home the next, with three young kids is a bit of a trial but we all had great fun and have promised to do it again sooner rather than later!

Our next trip was to the http://www.showcaves.co.uk/.

When Kev suggested taking the kids there I must admit I wasn't overly enthusiastic........Hmmmm....caves = cold, dark, damp etc.........great!......

I have to concede though, I was pleasantly surprised. The main showcave was fascinating and quite wonderful. We will definitely make a return visit in the spring. If you have any kids who are interested in nature, history etc, it really is worth a visit and although there are predictably one or two slightly over commercialised aspects, generally it is good value for money with lots to see.

It would have been an even better day had we not got lost due to that damned sat.nav. that Kev doesn't seem to want to go anywhere without these days!

I remember the days when we used road maps when venturing off to pastures new for a day out...........oh, the good old days before sat.nav, mobile phones, endless traffic hold-ups, political correctness, reality t.v.and Safestyle UK advertisements...........I could reminisce for hours........

The highlight for Izzy this week though was entering into the 'Y-Factor' with Sallys' daughter Tinkerbell and another friend who lives opposite us.

It is a fundraising idea for the playgroup which Eliza attends, to raise money for a new building for the playgroup nearer to the school that Izzy and Tinkerbell attend.

Listening to the slightly out-of-tune warblings and watching three awkward looking little girls singing their chosen song whilst practising for the audition didn't fill me with confidence that they would be chosen to go through to the next round but chosen they were!.......with instructions to do a bit of dancing whilst singing next time.

Three very chuffed little girls!

The show is to be held in December and should be a fun night out for all the family!!!!!:/ Lol....Oh how I love the world of kids, playgroup committees, parents evenings, having to smile and be 'all nice' to other peoples kids who I do actually find quite irritating and don't particularly like..............(not including any of my friends kids I hasten to add!)

So, there it is so far. Half term in the world of me and mine.

Next will be the Christmas break.

Sorry, did I say break?

I would say "wish someone would give me one" but it may be asking for trouble...........

Kev just read this and now looks totally confused.........had to explain........Break....wish someone would give me one......god it's hard work sometimes having to explain things....then again I suppose I have to make allowances.....after all, he is a man!!!!!:)

Bikes....bikes..... and more bikes!

2007-10-16T00:38:00.000+01:00

The following was written by Kev as a comment on John G's post about his biker-days but it's so bloody long, I've put it in a post instead!

So here goes.......

Hi John......nice to sort of meet you.
Seeing all these photos gives me a real warm glow. Late 70's to through the 80's biking......doesn't get any better...my main time too!!
Skipped the moped and started with the RD at 17 eh....must confess, I did do the moped bit (AP....which I've still got!!) then at 17 bought a Mk3 250 Ducati (which I've still got!!)..then went through a couple of 250 RD's (both silver DX's...both blown to pieces (as you do!)) then a G5 (remember them?), an XS500..loud as hell...(as I thought it would be pretty cool to slash cut the pipe to just infront of the collector box..tee hee!!). After that it only pulled about 80 'cos it didn't have any back pressure..but hey...made me smile (and used to wake my dad up when coming around the by-pass half a mile away at 2.00am).
Then I nearly went for a GS550 too, but got a CB550 instead. This is the one that nearly put me in a box. To cut a long one very short....too fast around an s bend in the middle of the night, hit the kerb, bike end to end down the road.....me?...head butted the kerb (wearing a £5 piss-pot from Exchange and Mart and MkII fighter pilot goggles) then somersaulted through a five bar gate and into a field where I stayed for a couple of hours before I came around!!.....Result...fractured neck, a bit of gravel rash and lots of free drugs in hospital!
Then came a must have. A mate of mine's dad had a 1950 MAC Velocette which I just had to have when he said he was going to get rid. That became my daily mode of transport, purely as a complete laugh. Rigid frame and sprung saddle (Dowty forks on the front)....anyway, still got it. Then for something to go further afield on came a CB750K2. Good reliable bike, albeit a bit of a rat.
One day in '85, I went down to the local bike shop to get a £7.50 seat cover for the said Honda, when in the shop I found and fell in love with on sight...a 900SD. Ran up to the bank...arranged a loan....ran back to the shop....shocked my dad by turning up at home on a huge red throbbing monster (as I like to remind Sarah of from time to time.....wey hey!!)......still got that one as well. Then came the, like yours but not nearly as lovely....yep you've guessed....the obligatory (although I was obviously a late starter) 400/4..and an F1 to boot...and of course it was hand painted matt black...top drawer. This was to get to and from work........aren't they bloody small though. How did you manage 'cos you look like a tall bloke?!
After that came the Z1000ST. Again hand painted matt black....4 into 1...handled like a bag-o-shite (mattress on wheels)...but still almost the biggest kiddy on the block at the time.....great! That's about the time Sarah and I got together.....and her favourite bike so far (weirdo!). I used to tie 4 pint bowls of Creme Caramelle on the back and ride 17 miles to visit her. Good god, I certainly know how to woo the lasses!
Then what was it?...oh yeah....595 Triumph. This came about by way of; went to IoM in 88, then again in 98. Great in 88....crap in 98....too many 'tubes of toothpaste' types (I know you know what I mean) that can go fast in straight line, but fuck it all up around the corners. Came back from the Island knowing that I needed something that would get me past these idiots. A mate of mine at the time had a green 509.....me me me...I want one. Another friend of mine worked in sales in another local bike shop. She phoned to say a 595 (Black...so another must have) had just come in. Get there quick and all mine for under book value. Anyway, went back to the Island in 99 and didn't have the same problem....!! Incidentally..still got this one as well although went to the Island again this year...on the Duke (she had to revisit :-)....!)
Don't think I've forgotten anything....but you never know!
Sarah's been trying to get me to write something since starting all this bloggy type stuff and I've always backed off (for fear of being sucked in). Well, I'm sorry for babbling but seeing your bikes set me off on one of the things I love best.....Sarah being the other ...of course! :-) Seeing your last photo of your France trip brings happy memories flooding back of doing the same type of thing.....5 mates...Bol d'Or....'87...a right laugh...but maybe that's for another time and place. Never did the 'off road' thing though, so can't comment there. Don't know anything about it! Perhaps you could elaborate one day!
Anyway, I'd better go now before Sarah thinks I'm looking at 'dodgy' porn on the net.....again!

All the best........Kev.

What a kerfuffle!!

2007-10-10T10:11:00.000+01:00

I would like to apologise to everybody for all the faffing about with my blog lately.

At first , after all the horrible stuff that happened, ie the awful comments left by the ex-husband, I decided to put all my posts along with comments into draft.

Then I put it all back on with comment moderation.

Next I made it a members only blog.

What a kerfuffle!

Then I felt that it being a members only blog implied that I had something to hide. Which I don't.

So now I have put it back to the way it was with just comment moderation enabled.

Minus the really bad comments from him and his cronies that I really don't want left on for all to see.

Sorry to mess you all around but I am, I'm afraid a very indecisive type....always have been, maybe always will be.....or maybe not.......

Then again, judging by the recent severe lack of comments, nobody is really that bothered anyway!!!!:)

Ho hum...business as usual.

So long........thanks for looking.

2007-10-04T21:14:00.000+01:00

The ex-husband has found my blog.

There were comments left by him, his wife and their friend.

Not very nice comments.

I will no longer be using this blog......

So, another time, another place.....maybe?

Thanks for looking

HC. X

Prioritising

2007-09-14T17:08:00.002+01:00

I needed to prioritise.

So I did.

I've decided that my attention needs to more concentrated on my family.

I have five children.

Rosie, my eldest daughter is fast approaching eighteen. I need to make more time for her. Just the two of us together.......before she's all grown up and not around so much.

Jake, my sixteen year old son is at a difficult time in his life. He is struggling with decisions relating to his education and issues with his father. I need to make more time for him, to talk. Really talk.

Izzy is seven. She is in a time of transition at school from an infant pupil to junior. Her schoolwork and her development needs to be given plenty of attention.

Eliza is three. She is now a 'rising five' at playgroup and will be starting school next year. She is growing up so fast and I don't want it to pass me by without me noticing everything....if you know what I mean.......

Carter has just turned one. His birthday was on Tuesday. My baby boy is nearly a toddler. Again, I don't want to miss a thing.

Then there's Kev, my amazing husband. We are all too often (for want of a less naff analogy) just ships passing in the night, too busy for conversation until we are both on the edge of sleep.

It's not really good enough.

So......I've decided not to blog.
Maybe for a while, maybe for a long time or maybe never again.
I'll see.

I know that my postings haven't been all that frequent but just nosing at other peoples blogs more or less every day takes time that could be better spent on other things....no offence intended!

For anyone who happens to 'give a flying one', feel free to send me an email from time to time.

Take care all, you're all blogtastic,

BLOG-ON!!!!!!!

love,

Sarah x

P.S. Meredic.......Please can I bags a signed copy of 'Ordinary Life' when it's published? :)x

Understairs glory-hole

2007-09-10T11:35:00.002+01:00

I've just realised the title of this post sounds a bit rude but I can assure you that this is not an indication of the content of the post!

Sally gave me these.....how lovely is that!????

I wish I had one of those clear minds....you know, the kind that isn't cluttered up with 'stuff'. It would be nice to have little compartments inside my head where the stuff could be neatly put away and taken out as and when needed then dealt with/used/binned or filed neatly away again.

My mind however has one of those huge full-up,very muddled, mostly junk understairs type of cupboards where the stuff just gets thrown then the door quickly shoved in an attempt to close it before all the stuff piles out on top of me.........

Things in my head at the moment.

1) The McCanns. For what it's worth, I think that the parents of Madeleine are guilty of leaving their three children alone in an obviously vulnerable situation that night, resulting in the awful events that have followed. Nothing else. I really hope I'm proved right. Soon.

2) The awful treatment of 16 month old Talha Ikram resulting in his death and WHY his father and stepmother have been given sentences of just 9 years?! Maybe more importantly how the authorities negligence allowed this to happen.

3) Smilers 1st birthday! (Tues. 11th)

4) Perfectionists Playgroup forms to complete and return.

5) Playgroup duty.

6) Perfectionists Nursery forms to complete and return.

7) Artists school form to complete and return.

8) Doctors appointment.

9) Change beds, washing on, washing out, ironing,etc etc.

10) Epilate legs...before turning into monkey-woman!

11) Make birthday cake.

12) 'Phone Mel (best friend), Mum and Sally (to thank her for the home-made loaf).

13) Artists homework.

14) Rosie moving in with my parents for a while.

15) Rosie moving back in with us?

16) Re-organising bedrooms if Rosie does move back in.

17) Wrap Smilers birthday gifts.

18) Catch latest news.

19) Read newspaper.

20) Vets appt. for cats.

21) Tax car.

22) Catch up on everyones blogs.

23) Publish this post!

~~24) scratch my own arse!~~

Yeah, I know...in the time it's taken to type this (worlds crappest typist!) I could have dealt with loads of 'stuff'!!!

So......where shall I start..............

Happy Days at home and in Cornwall.

2007-08-27T22:09:00.002+01:00

A bit of a mixed post...Firstly, as Sally posted, we met Meredic and The Boy - and what a pleasure it was. Meredic who writes on his fab blog 'Notes From Halletts Mountain' called by again with She Of The Townhouse so Kev could meet them too. All three are lovely and we hope to meet up with them again oneday.
Our week in Cornwall (minus Rosie and Jake who both consider themselves way too cool to holiday with us!) was good,in spite of the gale-force winds and rain....weather more suited to January than August!
We had a few days with sunshine and alot of fun staying at a campsite on Treveague Farm in Gorran Haven. It was lovely and we thoroughly recommend it for a great place to holiday.

Kev camping twenty-odd years ago..........

.....oh how things change!!!

Happy Days in Cornwall

Now for something different......

Jake, who has at last written a new post, has done well in his GCSE'S, achieving 2A'S, 1B, and 7C's. We were a little worried prior to receiving his results as Jake admitted to us that he did very little work in year eleven and did no revising for his exams. We were pleased with his results and he was obviously relieved not to have crashed and burned! Rosies' first comment was "oh, he didn't do as well as me then!". Her results on completing her GCSE'S last year were 3A*, 1A and 6B's. She did congratulate her brother when she had finished gloating!
Her English marks were in the top 6% in the country and we were told by her English teacher that she would easily be able to go on to study at Oxford or Cambridge. Rosie chose not to follow this path which did disappoint us at the time but I am still very proud of her. She is working and training to be a Jeweler and has already passed some Jeweler/Goldsmith exams. Jewelery Design is an option she is considering though whatever Rosie decides to do, I'm sure she will be fine. She's that kind of girl.

Jake will begin sixth form next week to study for his A levels. I do hope he sticks with it for the whole two year course, unlike his elder sister! Either way...well done Jake!!!....If he does get a few good A levels under his belt he may well be the one gloating in a couple of years!!!!

(I must admit I did comment on what he might have achieved had he worked and revised. Well I'm his Mum....that's what parents are supposed to do isn't it?!!!)

Pictures taken at home of the kids and cats Gypsy and Domino. The guinea-pigs Okey, Dokey, Mr Smokey, Dandelion, Beans and Apollo are in the hutches. One of the baby pigs died earlier in the month and is buried with Eric the dog ,deceased pigs Bluebell, Snowdrop and a few others whose names I can't remember!

Chuffed

2007-08-24T22:20:00.002+01:00

I know this sounds incredibly lazy but although I have quite alot to write about I haven't put it into any sort of order in my head so I can't do a proper post yet.
I did something really stupid today even by my standards.
I had my mobile phone in the back pocket of my jeans (yeah I know,just like a bloody teenager!) then I needed a wee so I went to the loo and of course my mobile ended up in the loo along with my wee.
Fine, you may be thinking,it could happen to any girl but this is where I let myself down. Without thinking I fished it out of the loo and ran it under the tap to wash the wee off.......................
My phone is broken.
The sim card was ok but all my numbers were saved to the phone not the card.
Kev phoned his brother in Spain just to tell him so he could laugh at me too.
Orange are sending me a new one tomorrow.
I know.
Rosie calls me special.
I think it's because I do things like this regularly.
At least it was only wee.
Sigh.......................
Anyway, John G has given me a lovely new award so I must be special.
I would like to award it to him in return because he's my best friend now....
Thanks John, I'm chuffed!:)

Love

2007-08-07T11:33:00.000+01:00

Hen-night

Saturday 4th August was our wedding anniversary.
K and I have been together for twelve years and married for six.
I feel as if I have been with K forever and I can't imagine us not being together.
We have crammed alot into twelve years,including Rose and Renegade going to their Fathers to live then returning to live with us,nine of the eleven miscarriages I've had, a LOT of shite from my ex, several house-moves, K starting up his own business and the births of Artist, Perfectionist and Smiler.
On our wedding day I gave K a copy of this...
it pretty much sums up how I felt.....and still do.

There can be no happiness
greater than I enjoy with you
clasped in your arms your voice mingling with mine
your heart upon my heart
our very souls welded together.
For me there is no man on this earth but you.
The others I perceive only through your love.
I enjoy nothing without you..........
I need your kisses upon my lips
your love in my soul.

Juliette Drouet to Victor Hugo

To Kev on our Wedding Day
Love always
Sarah

Married!

We had a small Register Office wedding (neither of us are religious), on a very small budget but I can honestly say that I enjoyed every minute of the day.
The songs we chose for the service were;-
'Please Forgive Me' by David Gray
'Yellow' by Coldplay
'Dancing Shoes' by Sinead O Connor
'I've Got Something To Say' by Reef
'La Tristesse Durera' by The Manic Street Preachers

We didn't have a honeymoon but will oneday.........probably when all the kids have left home and we are in our sixties!!!!

No computer for a bit.......

2007-08-02T22:13:00.002+01:00

It's going away for a clean-up so no blogging or emailing for me for a day or two. Oh well, at least some housework might get done.
Actually I will be giving Artist some extra TLC.
Today she came flying aound the corner of our cul-de-sac on her bike, way too fast and hit a rock, flew off the bike and landed on her chin.....so an emergency visit to the doctors surgery for the nurse to steri-strip her chin back together....
after the Dr said it may be ok not to stitch it (very deep gash,loads of blood everywhere!)...
within an hour of being home blood had soaked through the steri-strips which started to come off so she then had to be taken to the local country hospital (Dr's surgery by now closed for the day) to have the wound cleaned up and glued back together then dressed again....
the same hospital where she had the cut on her head glued together not so long ago!!!!!!
Bless her, she was brave and did enjoy the attention when the little gang of kids who play together outside crowded around her to see the injury!
Back soon....................

My first award....and probably my last!

2007-07-31T12:16:00.002+01:00

Akelamalu has awarded me!
I think maybe she ran out of people to award and had to scrape the barrel but thanks anyway Akelamalu!

Apologies for the blatant disregard for the rules but I've never been very good at doing things by the book.:)

The 5 people I would like to pass the awards on to are;

1)Sally...because she is a good friend and I wouldn't be blogging if she hadn't introduced me to blogland.....so she's to blame!

2)Rose...In the hope that it will inspire her to write some more posts as the novelty wore off after just two and now she's only loyal to her My-Space!:)

3)Jake...for the same reasons as Rose!

4)Meredic...because I love his posts and he is a loyal follower of my blog.:)

5)John G...for all the same reasons as Meredic.:)

Oh yes..and because like AC/DC, they all rock!!!:)

As you can see I've copied Sally and made three boys honorary girls!
Hope you don't mind boys!:)
Below are the awards you may choose from.

The wanderers return.

2007-07-25T10:45:00.002+01:00

Apologies for going awol for a bit, with no explanation.

I've been struggling a bit with some very old demons...(leftovers from the shitty first marriage)...again!

But worry not...I've been to the Doc's and I'm getting sorted. I feel nearly normal again....well, as normal as I ever was!

It's all too complicated....and tedious....and boring....and tiresome....and annoying to blog so I won't bore you all with it.

So....as I said, I'm feeling ok again now so HELLO AGAIN and apologies for neglecting everyone's posts. I will try harder, I promise!

Busy times ahead.....School hols (nightmare!)...Two psycho kittens running riot, two more pigs born yesterday (the male must have got in there a bit quick without us realising before we separated him from the girls!.....randy little bugger!)...and a holiday to plan from 11th to 18th August but I will try to fit in a bit of blogging where possible!

Luckily we have been largely unaffected by the severe flooding in Gloucester, as Sally said in her last post, we are on higher ground here.

K's father lives in Gloucester and has been without power and water and K's office is just outside Tewkesbury. Although the flood water has not reached it, he has been unable to get from home to the office due to flooded roads being closed. He was caught out on Friday, making several detours trying to get home but ended up turning back, luckily managing to get to his Dad's house where he spent the night.

Rosie works in Gloucester and on Friday her new boyfriend picked her up from work to bring her home but they also got stuck.

At one point he was wading through water up to his waist (he is 6ft.3 inches tall!) with Rosie on his shoulders. To cut a long story short, they ended up staying in Stroud for the night (after calling at her Fathers house, who lives in Glos but was not flooded, and being turned away!!!!) before making their way here, Saturday lunchtime. He was then kind enough to turn around and go back again to find K who had borrowed his Dads fishing waders and was wading his way home.....his Dad lives about 15/20 miles away!
Later that evening K had a call from Sally's husband D, asking to be rescued from their car which had died on Sally whilst rescuing D whose car had also died!!!! Very complicated.....there will no doubt be an amusing post from Sally telling all!!!

Apparently there were abandoned cars blocking roads as well as flood water....so it has all been a bit crazy but the kids have enjoyed all the excitement! We are so lucky not to have had our houses flooded like many in Gloucester. I will be contacting many of our friends who live in Gloucester over the next few days to see how they have been affected.

So...there it is...an update on what has been happening in my bubble lately.

Good to be back!

HC.
X

Update

2007-07-10T16:10:00.002+01:00

Mum and Dad went with my sister in law to see J today.

He's doing ok....still on continuous oxygen...he has fluid in his right lung.
He also has a drip attached, to rehydrate him.

Up until today he was being drip-fed but his Mum managed to feed him some dinner today so that's good.

They haven't tried to move him yet and he is nervous of when they do which is understandable after such a big operation.

I saw my brother on Saturday and he explained more about the op to me. Apparently, apart from inserting more rods into J's spine they also removed sections from six ribs.

They put the rods lower into his back than last time.

Mum said he has glue in his hair from the electrodes they attached to his head which will wash out with nail-polish remover!

J is still feeling low (not surprisingly) but he's ok.........I wish that I could visit him but I will probably have to wait until he comes home.

Still, he's ok and that's the main thing!

I did the race for life on Sunday with Mum, Rose and Artist.

Dad, K, Perfectionist and Smiler cheered us on.
It always makes me cry.....not the running, the signs on the other walkers/runners backs!

Rose and Artist ran the first lap and walked the second.....Mum and I walked both!

We then went to a local pub and had a big meal!

Courage

2007-07-05T13:58:00.002+01:00

Today most of my thoughts are with my Nephew. I'll call him J.

J was born just over 14 years ago with many physical problems including a diaphragmatic hernia, collapsed lung, several holes in his heart and scoliosis.

He has had several operations, the first few as a newborn and more recently one to insert rods into his back and then a few months later another to remove them.

All major surgery.

Today J is back in Bristol in preparation for more surgery. They are inserting more rods and doing something with his ribs...I'm unsure of the details.

I spoke to him on the phone last night to wish him luck...he was about to go out to Youth Club.

One of the things that amazes me about J is the way he just gets on with things. Although he is alot smaller than other 14 year olds and there are obviously some things he is unable to do, he never wants to be treated any differently from them....he never has. He has never used his physical problems as an excuse for not doing whatever he can and I have never once heard him complain.

I don't see J often but I am in awe of his courage and ability to keep smiling....and believe me, it's a big smile!

An amazing kid.

Today and tomorrow I will be thinking of J and my Brother, his wife and their two other sons.

I have no idea how they must be feeling.

Once again, I count my blessings.

Saving Mrs Tiggywinkle

2007-07-03T23:03:00.002+01:00

My ruffty-tuffty biker husband saved a hedgehog today.

He was running Rosie home when he noticed the hedgehog sat in the road with cars whizzing past, just missing it.................................................................

So he stopped, put on the hazard lights, picked up the worried looking little hedgehog and popped it into the hedgerow where it hopefully stayed!

Did you know....to get a hedgehog to uncurl, put it in the palm of your hand and gently rock it back and forth. It makes the hedgehog giddy which makes it wake up to see what's going on!

It must be true, I read it in my 'Trade Secrets' book which is full of useless information like this. Useless but interesting to someone like me!:)

It does have some useful stuff in too!

Platforms and Cadillacs

2007-06-30T17:23:00.002+01:00

I wrote this posting down in rough on a note pad and was attempting to type it onto my blog whilst cooking dinner. I'm not a fast typist, so when K came in and offered to type it for me, of course I took him up on his offer.

Luckily I have had a quick read through before publishing and I see that he's added a few little comments. I've decided to leave them in as he doesn't often show much interest in my blog!

By the way, Steve is an ex from a very long time ago!...and he's a good friend of mine and K's too!...and his cars are very cool!!!! :-)

I sat down and tried to decide what to write a new post about.

I looked back over the past week for inspiration.

I could write a serious post about the two car bombs found in central London but I don't really want to dwell on that too much. K works in central London quite a lot and only this past week, he was in Euston and Pall Mall.

So I'm not going to think about things that could happen because thank God (....??? - K), they haven't.

I could have written about my lovely Mum. She celebrated her 65th birthday yesterday - but I don't really want to do that without talking to her first.

Then there's the three youngest kids - always entertaining but I imagine too many posts about them just gets a bit tedious to anyone other than myself.

So I've decided on a post about Rose and the Renegade.

I've always encouraged my kids to be individuals, know their own minds and not necessarily follow the crowd.

I'm proud to say that both Rose and the Renegade have grown into very individual young adults.

They don't follow the latest fashions, unless of course they like them and don't seem to mind being thought of as a 'bit different'.

This to my mind, is admirable and seems to be considered very cool by their friends. I'm sure they are both secretly chuffed about this, although they would never admit it!.....because no matter how individual one likes to be, the approval of those who matter to you is always nice.

At 16/17, I liked to think of myself as an individual and a bit of a rebel (if John G is reading....yeah I know, Rebel Without a Clue!! :-) ) but it's strange that now, as an adult (questionable), although I am very single minded and like to think I am very much my own person (after the brief blip during my first marriage!), I don't like to be too different from others in my circle.....which incidentally is quite a small circle.....nearly just a dot really.

As it is, in a group of people that I should feel fairly comfortable with ie. playgroup, school mums etc., I still manage to feel like a bit of a misfit which leaves me feeling slightly uncomfortable and I rush to be amongst people who know me well enough not to judge me (hopefully!)

Is this being a misfit, a social outcast or just me lacking in confidence?....not sure. Maybe all three!! (......sounds more like total & absolute paranoia ..... jeez! - K)

Anyway, I digress......back to Rose and Renegade (...finally...(me again!!))

This time last year was Roses school prom and last night it was the Renegade's turn.

GCSE's taken and forgotten about for a while, all the year 11 students have the chance to dress up and spend the evening with their peers at 'The Chase' - a quite posh hotel in nearby Ross-on Wye.

As we all know, traditionally the girls get to dress like a princess (or at least upper class posh girls!) and the lads like young princes (or at least upper class posh boys!)

......Not my kids.......

Last year to her prom, Rose wore a very retro looking 40's style teal-coloured dress with black patent, very high platform dominatrix style shoes - all found by Rose on the Internet - it worked fabulously and she looked stunning!

She and her partner travelled to The Chase in my friend Steve's (......an ex!! - K) beat up old black 40's Cadillac (some panels still sprayed with just primer!), which I thought was very cool (...hmmm! - K).

Friday night the Renegade left here for his Prom in new black skinny-leg jeans, black leather belt with a big white metal buckle, black skinny-fit t-shirt and waistcoat, white 'Style Nation' shoes and a white rosary.

He looked great I thought and on both occasions I had that lump in my throat that immensely proud Mums always get!

Btw, he was given a certificate for having the 'craziest hair'. It used to be alot longer but he had it cut and is now growing it again. He bears a striking resemblance to Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons, apart from the fact his hair is brown not orange! Lol!:)

I wonder how our 3 younger kids will look when it's their turn.

Of course, one or two of them, maybe even three could turn out to be quite conventional - who knows, but I can only hope that they make me as proud as their older brother and sister have. I'm sure they will! :-)

I've added these photos taken today just because i like them and this post has turned into a bit of an opportunity to show off my beautiful kids! :D

The Artist

Smiler

Perfectionist

Rose

TLC

2007-06-25T22:29:00.002+01:00

I will be a bit rubbish at keeping up with everybodys posts for the next few days.
Perfectionist now has chicken pox which she caught from Smiler. She also has conjunctivitis and a nasty cough to boot!:(
Poor tiny, spotty little girly, she needs lots of tlc so....................inabit.

Teeth, rice and Jonothan Ross

2007-06-23T16:20:00.002+01:00

I'm writing this on paper on Friday evening, ready to type onto my blog tomorrow.

It's been a hectic day and I really can't be arsed to turn the computer on...Also, Jonothan Ross is on in half an hour so I need to get settled on the sofa with my Friday night snacks!

I'll start at the beginning..........................................................

5.40am.- Perfectionist staggers in to our bedroom and climbs into bed.

Unusually, Smiler is still asleep in his cot in their room. Probably because he didn't settle down until 10.30pm.last night!

K and I try to continue dozing in the limited space we are left with. Perfectionist, although tiny, (still wearing clothes for age 18 months at the age of 3) manages to hog nearly the whole bed by sleeping star-shaped!

6.15.- Alarm goes off. Snooze button is pressed. I'm still knackered from my gym session last night.
6.30.- Artist staggers in and wedges herself between me and K.
6.32.- Artist and Perfectionist start shouting at eachother about not having enough duvet.
6.35.- K marches both girls out of our room, warning them to find something to do and to not wake Smiler up!
6.40.- Lots of shouting, laughing and running around, getting louder and louder, very quickly.
6.45.- The girls are ordered to go downstairs and play. Noise and running around like maniacs continues downstairs.

We spend the next 10 minutes calling out to them "calm down, someone will end up crying!" etc,etc.

"MUMMY IT REALLY HURTS!" shouts Artist.
"What have you done?"
"Banged my head!"
"Oh never mind, you'll be ok"
"No it really hurts!!"
"Oh Artist, stop being such a drama queen!!"...This sounds awfully uncaring,I know but Artist can be a right drama-queen, as can most 7 year old girls!
"Oww, it really hurts though" she insists.
"Well come here and let me see"

Artist comes into our room. I peel my head up from the pillow and peer through bleary eyes..............

"Oh god K, she's cut her head open!"

7.20am.- K takes Artist to the local country hospital to have her head glued together. They arrive home about an hour later. Artist is feeling a bit sorry for herself but insists she wants to go to school. She loves school anyway but it was the annual school fun-run today so even more reason for her wanting to go!

They both eat some breakfast, get their necessary bits and bobs together and K leaves with Artist to drop her off at school on his way to work.

I get on with the usual stuff then at 11.20 suddenly remember that the plan today was to meet K at his office at 12.15 and then go on to the dentist together. Mum was to collect Artist from school.

My appointment was to see the hygienist and then the dentist, for a replacement filling and a WISDOM TOOTH-EXTRACTION!!!!!! The appointment was for 12.40.

I needed to leave at 11.40 latest, to stand any chance of meeting K at 12.15.

I am now the one running around like a maniac, throwing everything I need for Smiler and Perfectionist into a bag, check they don't have too much breakfast on their clothes, make Perfectionist have a wee, change Smilers nappy, brush my teeth again,grab kids and car keys and leg it out of the house.

It's always the bloody same when you're in a hurry isn't it?!!

The drive from our house to K's office is a pretty straightforward 40 minute drive with the national speed limit applying for virtually the whole journey.

I ONCE AGAIN get stuck behind some wind-up merchant driving at 25/30 mph.

I admit, I do get quite bad road-rage and often feel like stabbing people when this happens but really! - 25 mph on a main road for 15 miles and busy traffic travelling in the opposite direction so no chance of overtaking safely!!!

Aaaaargh!!!!!

Anyway, I eventually manage to actually get past the f****** a******* and arrive at the office.

We finally get to the Dentist, apologise for being late, blah blah blah...............

I sit in the torture chair, get sorted, we hand over a ridiculous amount of money and then leave to find a decent cafe/restaurant to get some lunch.

Of course my face is totally numb after 3 injections and I look as if I've had a stroke (which I know isn't funny but that is what I looked like)....but I'm starving so off we go.

I spend an hour and a half in 'Melanies' trying to eat a balti chicken curry with rice, naan bread and tsatsiki dip.

I had grains of basmati stuck all over my chin and curry dribbling down it. Attractive.

I also had quite alot of rice stuck inside my bottom lip which I couldn't fish out with my tongue due to the numbness.

I could sense the looks I was getting.

I've seen them before.

I used to be a key/care-worker for adults with severe learning disabilities and mental health issues. I have certificates to prove it.....one qualifies me to administer rectal-diazepam! Yay!

We left.

K, Perfectionist and Smiler all happy, with full stomachs.

Me unhappy with a full mouth.

Full of rice and soggy naan bread.

Not teeth.

We eventually get home at 6.30 after collecting Artist from my parents house on the way.

Animals and kids all fed and kids in bed by 8.30/9pm.

Aaaaah..........Time to sit down,relax, pig-out on crisps and chocolate and watch Jonothan Ross.

Happy weekend everybody!:)

Into Perspective

2007-06-21T13:48:00.002+01:00

Bloody hell. Now I kind of regret publishing that last post.

I've just been sat, feeding Smiler and something came on the t.v. that made it all seem so trivial.

The man who Philip Schofield and Fern Britton (I love Fern!) were interviewing, was talking with inderstandable difficulty, about his horrendously bad childhood. Starved, terribly physically abused from a very young age and sexually abused from the age of 5.

I know, as we all do that shit happens but when you see someone struggling with such bad memories it really does put your own stuff into perspective.

Why do there have to be SO MANY awful people in this world and WHY are so many children victims of them?

So often I resolve to not dwell on these atrocities and I manage to keep my resolve........until I hear of yet more.

Sometimes it's hard to accept that the human race can be so cruel.

Sorry to be so depressing.

So much for my next post being light-hearted and funny!

Next time, I promise.......Well, maybe not funny but definitely not depressing!

Travellers and Treadmills

2007-06-15T19:45:00.002+01:00

Smilers chicken pox.

Ah yes......The Thursday Night Gym Sessions.

Well, I managed over an hour of exercise and not a single Paramedic in sight at the end of it.

Result! :)

One of the exercises written into my programme involves laying on my back with my knees over a large ball and lifting the ball using my legs.It's to strengthen the stomach muscles which is great but the problem I have is keeping hold of the ball.

You see, I have legs the same length as your average nine year old which of course, makes this exercise a bit difficult as the ball really is quite large.

"Everytime I lift my legs up it falls out!" I cried, rather too loudly.

Silence......Everyone turns to stare.

Rosie, who was sitting next to me looks mortified.

Many laughed...I laughed...Rosie laughed too, to mask her embarrassment probably.

Well-it's one of the benefits of having teenage children-they are SO easy to embarrass.

My crazy Mum was amazing as ever, like a Duracell battery, she just kept going.Well done Mum!

Her fitness is undoubtedly helped by the fact that she not only eats very healthily but is also very active.

As my late Grandad used to say- "Even when she's sat down her arse is making buttons."

The thing is, my Mum and Dad are 'Old Age Travellers'

Every few weeks they pack up their walking boots, camera and journal, throw them into their Camper-Van or Motorhome as they prefer to call it and head for the open road.

They drive off to somewhere in the country, often the Cornwall coast line, park up and spend the next week or so walking on average 20 miles a day!

This is fab I reckon as it keeps them both fit and healthy.

I'm dead proud of them both-They're more like a couple in their 20's rather than 65 and 68 respectively.

Dad always makes sure there is a good pub nearby, selling a decent pint of real Ale which helps to make the breaks even more enjoyable!

So well done again Mum-if I'm as energetic as you when I get to 65 I will be well chuffed!

Chicken Pox update - Smilers spots are crusty so he's no longer contagious, he can ditch the bell.

He's definitely alot happier!

Busy weekend ahead -

Artists swimming lesson was this evening.

Artists Gym competition is tomorrow morning - which means no ballet with Sally's Tinkerbell Mushroom.

Collecting kittens tomorrow lunchtime-ish.

Fathers Day shopping tomorrow pm.

Fathers Day visiting on Sunday. (Mine and K's Dad)

Also have to fit in homework help, school uniform-washing etc,etc.

Ah well - when all the kids have grown up and left home maybe we will have quiet, relaxed weekends......

We will be in our 60's......perhaps we'll invest in a Camper-Van! :D

Tagged!

2007-06-13T22:56:00.002+01:00

Akelamalu tagged me! I have to list eight random facts about myself so here they are.

1) I didn't like carrots until I was Forty.
2) I lived in Malta, briefly as a child.
3) My lucky number is thirteen.
4) I drink on average two big pots of tea per day.
5) I'm phobic about toilets -(germs)
6) I've had sixteen pregnancies.
7) I'm only 4ft 11.5in.
8) I can only have the sky t.v. volume on 11,13 or 16.
9) I'm blood group A rhesus negative.

Whoopsie!.............that's 9!!!!

I'm not sure about tagging others but if anyone reading wants to do this too,that would be good.:)

HASSLE

2007-06-11T10:08:00.002+01:00

We had to go to Letchworth Garden City to collect a steam press K bought off ebay.

He insisted it would be a help with the rather large amount of ironing we always have.

I don't mean to sound unappreciative as I know he is trying to help but I'm not convinced it is worth having one. I think it will be another thing that will just get in the way and it seemed rather a long way to go!

He had arranged for us to collect it at 12.30.

Renegade would not be gracing us with his presence - being a 16 year old boy he avoids family outings wherever possible. Rose was working and since moving out earlier this year tends not to spend an awful lot of time with us at weekends anyway so it was just the five of us who were to go on the trip to Letchworth.

K, Me, the Artist, Perfectionist and Smiler who incidently has chicken-pox. I discovered the spots Saturday morning.

So..........................................

9.30am.

All youngest children were washed,dressed and breakfasted. The girls were playing in the garden and Smiler was bumbling about on the floor while I tried to get organised for getting out of the door at 10 O'clock.

Check:-

Changing bag containing nappies,wipes,cream,teething-granules,his drink,bib,jar of Hipp,a fruit-pot,a spoon,spare shorts and t-shirt.

Another bag containing sun-cream,sun-hats,girls drinks,colouring books,story books and crayons.

My bag containing purse,sunglasses,mobile,c.d's,notebook and pen.

10am.

Me - "K, where's Artist - aren't we supposed to be going now?"

K - "Yeah - I said she could play out the front on her bike until we go"

I go to the front door and call her. No reply. I go up the steps and have a quick scan around. She's not there but hers and Perfectionists bikes are lying over the road. I go and collect them,bring them down the steps and go around to the back garden to find both Artist and Perfectionist with all 5 guinea-pigs out in the run. I ask them to put the pigs back in their hutch then come inside,wash their hands and change their shoes.

I go back inside to gather up packed bags, get Smiler and put his sandals on.

He's busy eating the tissue out of the shoe-box K discarded yesterday on returning from a shopping trip. I remove all the soggy tissue from his mouth then gather up all the remaining tissue which is scattered throughout the dining room and kitchen.

This done, I go into the lounge to grab a few toys to throw in the car for him and realise it looks as if a bombs hit it so I have a tidy up,throwing toys into toybox and books into bookcase at lightning speed then return to the kitchen to get Smiler.

He's emptied one of the kitchen cupboards. There is an assortment of cereal packets,herbs and spice jars,and bottles of beer all over the floor. I clear all this away, round up the kids and take them and packed bags out to the car.

Meanwhile K is on the computer looking for the address of where we are supposed to be at 12.30..... Totally oblivious of the chaos........................

10.38

Kids are in the car, seated and belted.

No sign of K yet.

I give Perfectionist her colouring book and crayons.

Artist -"That's mine Mummy, why are you giving it to Perfectionist? it's mine!"

"No it's not, yours is dot-to-dot, this is just colouring"

"Can I have my dot-to-dot please?"

I go back to the house to search for requested book,turfing out all the books from previously tidied bookcase. I also grab Artists school reading book, remembering she has not yet read it to me and tomorrow is Monday. I also grab a cereal bar on my way out as I hadn't had time for breakfast.

Back in the car..............we were all in and ready.

Artist in the back and Perfectionist in the middle with Smiler. We can't put the girls together in the car without them arguing non-stop so these are the required seating arrangements for long journeys!

We drive away from our house. The time is now 11am.

Lynyrd Skynyrd is blaring out of the c.d player.

"Do we have to listen to this?" I say to K.

"Change it if you want but don't put Regina bloody Spektor on, she gets on my nerves" K replies.

I put on the new MSP. album. It reminds me of one of their early albums K and I used to listen to years ago.........I sit back to relax,enjoy and reminisce.

My peace is soon shattered...."I haven't got my sunglasses!" cries Perfectionist. They are new and she loves them. It's the end of the world.

The next ten minutes is spent convincing her that she won't need them.

Fínally we have calm.

Artist is happily gazing at the scenery, Perfectionist is asleep and Smiler is happily babbling .

I sit back and listen to Pearl Jam, enjoying listening to Eddie Vedders poetic angst, fantasise that he is singing about me being the sun in his sky and zone out for a while.

12 noon and already we have to stop.

K is fine riding a motorbike but get him behind the wheel and it's not long before the boredom of driving starts to have a soporific affect for him.

I've left my prescription glasses at home so I can't take over the driving.

We pull in at the first services.

K disappears,returning five minutes later with sustenance for all. Two big Coffee-Nations for us and fruit pastilles for the girls.

I allow sweets occasionally and long car journeys qualify as one of these occasions.

Half an hour later I am regretting it......The effects of the sweets have kicked in.

The words poo,bum,willy and bogey become the main content of their vocabulary.
It's preferable to them arguing and they are happy so I turn a deaf ear and flirt outrageously with a biker riding in the inside lane to my left.

I instinctively look at bikes when I see them but even more reason to look at this one. It was straddled by a very attractive rider!!

He soon caught on and we stuck either in front,behind or alongside him for a while. K was quite happy to play the game,informing me that he does the same if he ever happens to "clock a tidy bird in a car, giving me the eye!"

Hmmm...mental note to try and get out on the bike with him more often.

12.35pm

I need a wee.

We are on the M1 Northampton. No signs for services. Oh dear...my ability to hold on is not as good as it used to be.....unsurprisingly having had five kids!

I try to ignore it, glad we are on a smooth motorway rather than a bumpy A-road full of pot-holes.

Shouldn't have had that huge Coffee-Nation....serves me right!

I wonder,briefly, whether I could actually wee in the potty (which we keep in the car for Perfectionist,just incase) as we are going along but realise that would not only be extremely dangerous,a bit embarassing,against the law and potentially messy but also that Artist would definately tell all her class mates and Teacher all about it so I quickly put the idea out of my mind,cross my legs and concentrate on playing my game of making up three-word phrases using the letters from car reg.plates. Yeah, sad I know but simple things......................

WPA...wet pants ahead....oh dear.....

ULO....unavoidable leakage occuring...............Decide not to play that anymore and sit back to enjoy the fact that all kids are snoozing soundly and sing along to The James Gang belting out Funk#49.

Both K and I are singing along, thinking we're pretty cool..............luckily Renegade isn't there to put us right!!!

1.05pm.

We are lost on an A-road.

K tries to find another point in the car to plug the sat-nav into,hoping that it is just the front plug-in point that is faulty and not the actual machine.

He finds one next to Artists seat. It has a fruit-pastille stuffed into it.

We fish it out with one of my earings. Underneath the sweet is a penny.

K eventually manages to get it out using the earing and two crayons!

He plugs in the sat-nav. It doesn't work.

Half an hour later after trying all other plug-in-points and swearing alot K gives up. Eventually ,I convince him it would be a good idea to ring the seller and ask for directions.

What is it about men that prevents them from admitting to other men that they are lost?......................................................

2.10pm.

We finally arrive at our destination. One hour and forty minutes and a lot of wrong turnings late.

So far the kids have all been complete stars. Perfectionist is fast asleep, Artist is happily chatting about what she sees out of the window and Smiler is still babbling contentedly.

K returns to the car after a five minutes with the steam-press. I bite my tongue, preventing myself from saying how I never really wanted the damn thing in the first place and off we go to find the motorway heading home.

First stop - Services.

The original plan was to find a nice country pub to stop for lunch but it was getting too late for that now so the services would have to do.....the kids were all hungry and my need for the loo had returned with a vengeance!

4.30pm.

We leave the services having eaten some predictably tasteless and outrageously priced food and visiting the loos.We head home at last.

The girls are happy...fed,watered and rewarded for their good behaviour with comics. Smiler is his usual contented smiley self and K seems happy despite using a large amount of diesel on our unexpected mystery tour of the countryside. I am also happy having at last had a wee.

The rest of the journey passed without incident,listening to James Blunt.......Yes I know it is fasionable to hate J.B. but K and I went to see him at Blenheim Palace last year and he was brilliant!

There was a brief bout of crying from Smiler due to teething pain and we did stop for half an hour or so for me to feed him and for the girls to stretch their legs but that was it until we finally arrive home at 7.30pm.

A small supper eaten, bathed and hair washed, all kids were tucked up in bed by 8.30.

What a very long day.

All for a bloody steam-press I didn't really want!

It had better be worth the hassle. Somehow I doubt it will be!!!

By the way, I'm going to ban K from going on ebay.

He sold a friends framed picture of football cards for him.

He sold it for 99p, adding £4.75 for postage.

He then realised the buyer lived in Northern Ireland so it cost £7.50 to send it!!!!

Cats,Dogs and workouts.

2007-06-08T22:28:00.002+01:00

We were pleased to find a robin nesting in our garden shed a few weeks ago.
She was given peace and quiet to care for her eggs....even the Artist and Perfectionist left it alone,staying out of the shed and leaving their bikes,scooters etc. outside so as not to disturb the nesting Mum.
I had to explain to them why we wouldn't be able to keep them as pets as Artist is a total animal lover. From elephants to ants....she loves them all.
Unfortunately I haven't seen the robin for a while now and it seems she has abandoned her nest.
I'm not very knowledgeable of nesting birds so if anyone reading this is,I would be interested to know of any possible reasons for her having left.

On the subject of animals.............................

K and I have finally come to an agreement over a difference we have had for some time. K is a dog person. I am a cat person.

Eric,our british bulldog died last year. I would like to have pet cats again but on mentioning this to K he - VERY childishly I feel, said "Yeah,of course you can have cats as long as I can have another bulldog." Now, it's not that I hate dogs..I don't but I do dislike their neediness and the fact that they crap everywhere - dogshit is one of my pet hates....actually it's a bit more than a pet hate...I cross the road to avoid walking past it, I find it so disgusting!!!

Eric lived in a dog-igloo in the garden. He loved it.He was a happy,healthy dog and did not suffer for not being in the house...in fact I think he was healthier for it. He lived for ten years which is a good innings for the breed. Eric was far too clumsy and smelly to live in the house - bulldogs,even after bathing only stay sweet smelling for a short time! He did have a lovely character despite being a bit 'slow' shall we say and he is missed,especially by K and the Artist. When he died we had a funeral for him. It was all very sombre as we watched K bury him at the end of the garden, behind a wall. The girls put pictures and flowers on his grave and the Artist still goes down there to chat to him occasionally!

After Erics demise I was adamant there would be no more dogs. I really disliked having to do the poo-pick-up in the garden if K was working away..................... After months of pestering I have finally relented and agreed to have another one on the condition it's a bitch (they're prettier and being female,don't keep getting their pepperami's out!!) and that K fences off the lawn so we don't have any steamers to dispose of before the kids can go out and play. We will have to wait for a while too as the breeders don't have any pups expected at the moment. Good.

I however, being quick off the mark for a change, have already secured ownership of two kittens, to be collected next weekend when they will be two months old and ready to be weaned. The girls are beside themselves with excitement and the Artist is already planning the adventures she will have with the unsuspecting felines. She has mourned the death of several guinea-pigs over the years and only this week her last remaining Triop (Trevor) died so she's relishing the thought of two little kittens to love! I'm already a little anxious about how they will survive the attentions of two little girls who compete with eachother so much........Oh well,time will tell!

I was supposed to be writing about last nights trip to the gym but I'm still recovering from the trauma of a whole hour exercising and also trying to come to terms with the fact that my Mum....25 years my senior and a fair bit heavier...left me standing!!! She was like Basil Fawlty on speed, pausing only to take a swig of water occasionally, for a whole hour, all the while wearing her navy jog-pants (which are actually crop-legged but full length on her,being only 4ft 11") and a big cheesy,slightly smug grin.

Well done Mum!....Always young at heart and not bad physically either!!! :)

I may write some more about our gym trips in the future when I'm feeling a little less miffed!!!!

Mid-life Crisis?

2007-06-01T09:24:00.002+01:00

I did two things yesterday both of which are I think, part of my mid-life crisis.

I spent all morning at the hairdressers with Rose, having my second lot of blonde highlights in and my roots coloured.

I have been a brunette all my life.....I was born with lots of brown hair which never turned fair as a toddler, it was always dark. I've always loved being brunette and have never wanted to be blonde................until a few weeks ago.

I first started to notice a few grey hairs when I was in my early 20's. When they became obvious I just chucked on some hair-colour to hide them. I continued to do this all through my 30's but it's always been a bit of a pain in the rear-end as my hair grows so fast...and it wasn't doing it much good either.

So,what was the alternative?............I know I thought.....I'll just stop colouring it and grow old gracefully.........................Yeah right! - I lasted about 6 weeks and couldn't stand it any longer so off I went to the hairdresser for some advice.

I'd heard that if you are brunette with some grey hair and didn't want to keep colouring it dark then you had to go lighter and gradually blend the grey hair in. My hairdresser confirmed this but advised me to have the blonde put in little by little and gradually build it up whilst having my roots coloured at he same time.

Not quite as straight forward as throwing on a hair colour from the chemist!

This all made me a little anxious...................I really didn't want people to stare at me and say "Oh dear, look at that sad old bint with her blonde highlights desperately trying to look as if she's still 18" and then laugh,leaving me feeling old and humiliated.

Then the paranoia passed and I took her advice.

The first time she put a few in it took a while to get used to but I soon began to like it .

Yesterday being my second trip she added some more and I LOVE IT!!! I am converted. Brunette and grey or blonde? Oh blonde,definately darling!.............

Before you can say bimbo I'll have a bright orange spray-tan,fake boobs and nails and start wearing a thong pulled halfway up my back!

Now for more mid-life crisis stuff.

Yesterday I went to a gym for the first time in my life...........Well,first time since I was at junior school so a long time since I last did any exercise other than running up the stairs! Rose came with me.........................too scared to go on my own incase it was full of Baywatch types watching with amusement and slight pity as I struggle to complete a minute on the treadmill before collapsing in a heap of saliva, sweat and brand new trainers.

As it turned out ,it wasn't too traumatic at all.I was pleasantly surprised. I knew I wasn't grossly overweight or terribly unfit but I was a bit worried about what the assessment might reveal. Rose and I sat in the room with the manager who was to assess us, both feeling as if we were in the Headmasters office about to be told how badly we had let ourselves down but surprise,surprise(for me anyway,I knew Rose would be ok),everything was good and all within the healthy parameters.

Both happy and with our ego's suitably boosted we hurried off to the gym,full of enthusiasm.

A lovely girl, (half my age) showed us all the equipment and how to use it and then told us to try it out to see what we felt comfortable with. Next visit our personal training programmes will be ready for us but this visit was just a 'try out'.

Well,.................Laugh!!! At one point I was worried that the other, obviously more 'au fait' gym users would get annoyed with us as we were basically just laughing at eachother for the first 10 minutes. Rose is a bit feeble with her arms as she has hyper-mobility (not helped by years of dancing) and I'm a bit feeble, just because I am.

After a while we calmed down and did actually manage to do some exercise.

We both thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and hope to go a couple of times a week. I really hope the novelty doesn't wear off before we see the benefits!

I WILL NOT GROW OLD GRACEFULLY

I WILL NOT TOLERATE GREY HAIR (yet)

I WILL BE AS FIT AND TONED AS A CHAMPION RACING SNAKE

This will be my mantra.

Wish me luck!!!! ;)

Growing up

2007-05-29T22:16:00.002+01:00

Just a quick one 'cause I feel a bit sad.

I did it. I gave away two big bags of newborn baby clothes to the new parents living opposite. Well, I'm not going to need them again and it's all like new as babies don't wear things long enough to wear them out do they? A good way to recycle them I thought.

I know Smiler is only eight months old but it seems ages ago that he was wearing those tiny little clothes. He's growing up so quickly, trying to walk already and eating the same as us alot of the time.

I also moved his cot out of our room and into the big room to share with Perfectionist today, so that's another little step.The Artist now has her own room again for the first time since Perfectionist was born so she feels very grown up............screams every time either of the younger two enter her room "get out,you're not allowed in my room.........Mum quick they're messing my room up!"

So...about the baby clothes......I've kept a couple of things.....just one vest and one babygrow, the ones he wore most.

I don't know why........................:(

Social leper

2007-05-25T09:46:00.002+01:00

I had to pop into town a few days ago for a few bits and when lunchtime came I headed for the food-hall in the shopping centre.

This would not be my first choice of places to eat and drink (food is not great and coffee is like engine oil) but I had Perfectionist with me and also Smiler, in his buggy. I knew there would be plenty of room for manoeuvre in the food hall. There's nothing worse than battling your way through a cafe with a baby in a buggy and a fractious toddler,dragging chairs caught in buggy wheels along with you whilst desperately looking for a table out of the way......all the while feeling like a total inconvenience to others due to the inevitable pissy looks.

We eventually got organised with Perfectionist happy with her seat and Smiler smiling in a not-too-food-encrusted highchair.
Perfectionist tucked in to her dry bread roll and apple juice(a very fussy eater with a very limited diet) and I fed Smiler his meal of organic veggy mush I had brought along with us. He soon polished this off (a good eater, unlike his sister) so then it was time for me to feed him.

I quickly scanned the area. There were several tables with women sat around,a couple with a young girl,a middle aged couple and a man of about 35 in a suit and bad tie,talking on his mobile. He looked like the sort who would 'phone up and say "Hi,just a quick call to touch base" and then possibly "laters" on finishing the conversation. Two expressions that really irritate me.

Hmmm, I thought........Well I am tucked away in the corner so hopefully I'm not going to upset anyone. It makes me mad that I'm made to feel this way when breastfeeding my child. We are supposed to be a modern,progressive,liberal society and we are in many ways....too much in some........ but I have all too often found public attitude towards breastfeeding intolerant and ignorant, leaving me feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable when doing so.

Please don't miss-understand me. I am not one of those happy-clappy,smug,breast-is-always-best women who lob their lactating bosoms out on the table in public for all to see with a "look-at-me-aren't-I-a-perfect-Mother" expression on her face. I am in fact a person small in stature with a small,unobtrusive chest (which I couldn't lob anywhere even if I tried) and if I do feed in public you would have to have a really good gawp to realise I'm feeding and not just holding my baby!.......Back to the food hall.......

Smiler fed for about 5 minutes then I planted him back in his buggy and started to clean Perfectionist up a bit. The woman of the middle aged couple who was just returning to her table with more tea, came to our table and said to me "It's so nice to see a Mum getting her priorities right" She went on to ask the usual questions about kids then we said goodbye.

I left the food hall with a smile on my face. I felt proud instead of apologetic, no longer like a social leper but a Mum doing the best I can for my kids.

I imagine many people would see the events of my visit to town that day as trivial and insignificant but for me they were a really important,refreshing change.

I wonder if the Woman realised how much she brightened my day?

I do hope so.

Scream To A Sigh

2007-05-22T20:06:00.002+01:00

Firstly,I have decided to use 'Aka' names for my family.
These are as follows;-

Husband (42)------------------------K
Eldest Daughter (17)----------------Rose
Eldest Son (16)----------------------The Renegade
Middle Daughter (7)-----------------The Artist
Youngest Daughter (3)--------------The Perfectionist
Youngest Son (8months)------------Smiler

I love K a ridiculously huge amount but sometimes, he really annoys me!

I 'phoned him at work this morning......I can do this as he works for himself and I knew the only other people likely to be there were friends as well as colleagues.

The conversation was as follows:-

Me- "K, I really need to get these bedrooms sorted, what was it we decided on?" (memory of a goldfish)

K "Well, the first thing to do is get all The Artists clothes out of the big wardrobe in the big room and put them in the little wardrobe in the little room"

Me "Yes, and put all Perfectionists and Smilers clothes in the blue wardrobe in the big room, I'm doing that now,as we speak but what about the big wardrobe, when are you taking it to the tip?"

K "I don't know yet...does it matter when?"

Me "Well it's just that I can't move the blue wardrobe into the big room until the big wardrobe has gone...and we need more drawers for Artists clothes"

K "Yes I know that but it doesn't stop you from getting all her hanging clothes out and hanging them in the little wardrobe and you could clear that bed in the little room. You don't have to leave it up to me to start moving it all"

Me "That's exactly what I'm doing - I told you that - you just don't listen to me, I just told you that's what I am doing - it really pisses me off,you don't bloody listen!!!"

K "Stop shouting,the 'phones on loud speaker,everyone can hear you"

Me "I DON'T BLOODY CARE, YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME, I JUST SAID THAT!!"

HE PUT THE 'PHONE DOWN ON ME.

The 'time of the month' started this morning. The first time since falling pregnant with Smiler. Thats a hell of a lot of pent-up hormonal 'time of the month' rants to get out of my system.

I have been Bitch From Hell recently.

Maybe I overreacted.

He still doesn't bloody listen though.

Three Little Pigs

2007-05-19T22:18:00.002+01:00

The young couple who live opposite us are celebrating the safe arrival of their first baby.

The new Dad told me the good news yesterday.A Boy!

His face gave away his feelings of New Fatherhood.

Complete and utter pride and joy,mixed with the inevitable apprehension of experiencing something so new and so life-changing.

We had a brief chat and I congratulated him several times before saying goodbye.

For a while after although very happy to hear such good news, I felt a little sad.

Is sad the right word or was I just feeling a bit reflective?

I'm unsure.

I remembered how it felt to be the Mother of a brand new baby and all the feelings involved with that journey from conception to the birth came back to me.

The somersaults your tummy does on discovering that a new life has started inside you.

The panic of whether you will be a good parent or not.

The worry about your growing babys health,the excitement when the first tiny flutters of movement are felt.

The elation on seeing the fuzzy images at the first ultrasound scan and the anticipation of meeting this little person you have helped create.

So many emotions.

I wont experience those feelings again.

K and I have made sure there will be no more babies for us, which is of course sensible considering that we are Forty and forty plus with probably more than our fair share of children already.

Please don't get me wrong..............................I know how privileged I am to have five beautiful, healthy children.

I never lose sight of how precious they all are, having experienced eleven miscarriages........... I know only too well. I am what used to be called apparently, in the medical profession, an habitual aborter. How awful is that!!?

I do hope they never use that term any more.

So yes, I do look at my children every day and count my blessings.................And I will get used to the fact that my having babies days are over. Eventually.

So to the new parents opposite - I wish then luck and happiness as they begin the most amazing journey. This is where the fun really begins!

UPDATE

4.30pm Second daughter(7) runs in from the garden, full of excitement, face beaming and announces "Dandelion has had THREE babies,quickly come and see!!!"

(We've had pet guinea pigs for years, some have died and some have had babies...lots of babies!)

I pop outside to check all is well and there they are...........three tiny pigs! They are very small and very soft with a proud looking Mum and smug looking Dad close by.

I don't suppose it's that often your pets and your neighbours have as much in common.

Funny this should happen after the thoughts and reflection about procreation I had yesterday.

Guinea pigs reproduce with alarming regularity. They are randier than rabbits, it's a fact so I may not be having any more children myself but I will have plenty of baby Guinea pigs to look after!!

Sleep,Farts and Soaps.

2007-05-18T21:27:00.002+01:00

It was 5.37am. I really was knackered.

The sleep deprivation was taking its toll.

Baby boy always wakes between 5.30 and 6am,beaming with the anticipation of another day with me dancing to his tune. Bear in mind, he still breastfeeds at night with startling regularity,usually from around 1am until sunrise.

Some babies sleep through by the time they reach 6 months,apparently. None of mine ever have.

Youngest daughter aged 3 (just),rises between 6 & 6.30 and second daughter between 6.30 & 7am.

I begrudgingly peel my tired body from my bed (well,the 2 inches of bed I'm left with as both Baby Boy and Y.D. prefer our bed to their own), to referee the girls as they are unable to spend more than five minutes together without W.W.3 occurring.Or so I thought.

Having staggered from the bathroom,still struggling to get my brain into gear, I hear shrieks of girly laughter and frivolity.The girls weren't arguing........they were having fun.......TOGETHER!!!!

Peering into their bedroom (now wide awake due to the shock) I see the reason for their obvious amusement. They were taking turns to sit on a re-discovered stocking-filler from last Christmas. The good old Whoopie Cushion! I couldn't help laughing along with them, especially when the older sister plonked Baby Boy onto it,much to his bewilderment,which made them both fall into hysterics. The fun continued for a good twenty minutes. I was no longer grumpy.

Thanks for lifting my spirits,girls!

Returning to the matter of sleep,second daughter did,surprisingly, need to be woken up on Tuesday morning.

"Mummy" she inquires, in a very slow,croaky little voice,"Why do you make me go to bed when I'm not tired and now you wake me up when I am?"

Second daughter often says things which make me smile.

Last night whilst watching Eastenders (OK - I confess!),she remarked "well, we all know that something bad will happen because every time they are supposed to have a happy day on programmes like Eastenders or Coronation Street,bad things always happen!"

Hmmm............maybe her bedtime should revert back from 8 to 7.30pm.!?

Yes ,I confess I watch Eastenders and Coronation Street. Religiously.

A teensy bit miffed

2007-05-15T09:58:00.002+01:00

This proves how over fussy and a tad ungrateful I can be sometimes!
I've just looked at the posting I did yesterday. You see,rather tragically it was a momentous occasion for me as I do lead a rather sheltered life and the fact that I had written about my life and exposed it for others to read (hopefully) was,in fact a rather big deal for me.
I scribbled it down on a scrap of paper and left it on the desk.
My son came home from school and saw it. He was obviously outraged at the possibility of me having to use the computer when it is always absolutely necessary for him to use it for msn/My Space/listening to music etc,etc as soon as he gets home.

"Mum,shall I type this in for you because I'll do it alot faster than you?" says eldest son

"Ok,thanks but don't miss any out and make sure it's grammatically correct - I don't want people to think I'm thick." I reply.

Ok, he only missed out a few things but if you have seen my profile you will know that I am a bit fussy and this was my very first blog. IT WAS SPECIAL TO ME!!!!

Sorry Son............I do appreciate your help....................but I wanted to do it!!!!

Having a word with myself.

2007-05-14T17:42:00.002+01:00

I wasn't going to do a Blog.
I thought-why would anyone be ineterested in the confused, slightly senile ramblings of a 40 year old housewife and Mum?
I asked my eldest son what he thought and he reminded me that it can be just like writing a diary (which is very therapeutic I find) and also that I could only write it when I have the time-there's no law to say I have to write a clever/amusing/interesting blog daily. Phew.
Hooray, I thought-I'll do it. At least, I'll have a go.
I felt quite brave.You see I am a scaredy-cat.I don't like doing new things much.I am a creature of habit.I live in my own little bubble, surrounded by all things familiar to me, feeling permanently on the edge of everything going pear-shaped.I have to stick to my routines and rituals to prevent myself from scrabbling down over the edge.

Oh dear. That's a bit worrying.

This weekend, the things I have been moaning most about are:

1.) Why my eldest daughter had 'dropped out' of Sixth Form to work full-time, at 17 years old?
2.) How much I would love a lie in, I haven't had one for about 7 years!
3.) Why is our just turned 3 year-old ALWAYS in our bed, space-invading, every morning?
4.) When did my 16 year-old son lose the ability to speak in sentences rather than grunts? (Though he did manage a sentence this morning.Which was nice.)
5.) Why does my house always look like a very badly organised car-boot sale?
6.) Did I really argue with everything my Mother said to me when I was only 7 years old?
7.) Will our 8 month old ever start sleeping for more than 10 minutes at a time?

Then I saw the latest news on T.V.
11 days.
Then I realised how incredibly lucky I am.