Growing up

Just a quick one 'cause I feel a bit sad.

I did it. I gave away two big bags of newborn baby clothes to the new parents living opposite. Well, I'm not going to need them again and it's all like new as babies don't wear things long enough to wear them out do they? A good way to recycle them I thought.

I know Smiler is only eight months old but it seems ages ago that he was wearing those tiny little clothes. He's growing up so quickly, trying to walk already and eating the same as us alot of the time.

I also moved his cot out of our room and into the big room to share with Perfectionist today, so that's another little step.The Artist now has her own room again for the first time since Perfectionist was born so she feels very grown up............screams every time either of the younger two enter her room "get out,you're not allowed in my room.........Mum quick they're messing my room up!"

So...about the baby clothes......I've kept a couple of things.....just one vest and one babygrow, the ones he wore most.

I don't know why........................:(

Social leper

I had to pop into town a few days ago for a few bits and when lunchtime came I headed for the food-hall in the shopping centre.


This would not be my first choice of places to eat and drink (food is not great and coffee is like engine oil) but I had Perfectionist with me and also Smiler, in his buggy. I knew there would be plenty of room for manoeuvre in the food hall. There's nothing worse than battling your way through a cafe with a baby in a buggy and a fractious toddler,dragging chairs caught in buggy wheels along with you whilst desperately looking for a table out of the way......all the while feeling like a total inconvenience to others due to the inevitable pissy looks.


We eventually got organised with Perfectionist happy with her seat and Smiler smiling in a not-too-food-encrusted highchair.
Perfectionist tucked in to her dry bread roll and apple juice(a very fussy eater with a very limited diet) and I fed Smiler his meal of organic veggy mush I had brought along with us. He soon polished this off (a good eater, unlike his sister) so then it was time for me to feed him.


I quickly scanned the area. There were several tables with women sat around,a couple with a young girl,a middle aged couple and a man of about 35 in a suit and bad tie,talking on his mobile. He looked like the sort who would 'phone up and say "Hi,just a quick call to touch base" and then possibly "laters" on finishing the conversation. Two expressions that really irritate me.



Hmmm, I thought........Well I am tucked away in the corner so hopefully I'm not going to upset anyone. It makes me mad that I'm made to feel this way when breastfeeding my child. We are supposed to be a modern,progressive,liberal society and we are in many ways....too much in some........ but I have all too often found public attitude towards breastfeeding intolerant and ignorant, leaving me feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable when doing so.



Please don't miss-understand me. I am not one of those happy-clappy,smug,breast-is-always-best women who lob their lactating bosoms out on the table in public for all to see with a "look-at-me-aren't-I-a-perfect-Mother" expression on her face. I am in fact a person small in stature with a small,unobtrusive chest (which I couldn't lob anywhere even if I tried) and if I do feed in public you would have to have a really good gawp to realise I'm feeding and not just holding my baby!.......Back to the food hall.......



Smiler fed for about 5 minutes then I planted him back in his buggy and started to clean Perfectionist up a bit. The woman of the middle aged couple who was just returning to her table with more tea, came to our table and said to me "It's so nice to see a Mum getting her priorities right" She went on to ask the usual questions about kids then we said goodbye.



I left the food hall with a smile on my face. I felt proud instead of apologetic, no longer like a social leper but a Mum doing the best I can for my kids.



I imagine many people would see the events of my visit to town that day as trivial and insignificant but for me they were a really important,refreshing change.



I wonder if the Woman realised how much she brightened my day?


I do hope so.

Scream To A Sigh

Firstly,I have decided to use 'Aka' names for my family.
These are as follows;-

Husband (42)------------------------K
Eldest Daughter (17)----------------Rose
Eldest Son (16)----------------------The Renegade
Middle Daughter (7)-----------------The Artist
Youngest Daughter (3)--------------The Perfectionist
Youngest Son (8months)------------Smiler


I love K a ridiculously huge amount but sometimes, he really annoys me!


I 'phoned him at work this morning......I can do this as he works for himself and I knew the only other people likely to be there were friends as well as colleagues.


The conversation was as follows:-


Me- "K, I really need to get these bedrooms sorted, what was it we decided on?" (memory of a goldfish)

K "Well, the first thing to do is get all The Artists clothes out of the big wardrobe in the big room and put them in the little wardrobe in the little room"

Me "Yes, and put all Perfectionists and Smilers clothes in the blue wardrobe in the big room, I'm doing that now,as we speak but what about the big wardrobe, when are you taking it to the tip?"

K "I don't know yet...does it matter when?"

Me "Well it's just that I can't move the blue wardrobe into the big room until the big wardrobe has gone...and we need more drawers for Artists clothes"

K "Yes I know that but it doesn't stop you from getting all her hanging clothes out and hanging them in the little wardrobe and you could clear that bed in the little room. You don't have to leave it up to me to start moving it all"

Me "That's exactly what I'm doing - I told you that - you just don't listen to me, I just told you that's what I am doing - it really pisses me off,you don't bloody listen!!!"



K "Stop shouting,the 'phones on loud speaker,everyone can hear you"



Me "I DON'T BLOODY CARE, YOU DON'T LISTEN TO ME, I JUST SAID THAT!!"



HE PUT THE 'PHONE DOWN ON ME.




The 'time of the month' started this morning. The first time since falling pregnant with Smiler. Thats a hell of a lot of pent-up hormonal 'time of the month' rants to get out of my system.


I have been Bitch From Hell recently.


Maybe I overreacted.


He still doesn't bloody listen though.

Three Little Pigs

The young couple who live opposite us are celebrating the safe arrival of their first baby.

The new Dad told me the good news yesterday.A Boy!

His face gave away his feelings of New Fatherhood.

Complete and utter pride and joy,mixed with the inevitable apprehension of experiencing something so new and so life-changing.

We had a brief chat and I congratulated him several times before saying goodbye.

For a while after although very happy to hear such good news, I felt a little sad.

Is sad the right word or was I just feeling a bit reflective?

I'm unsure.

I remembered how it felt to be the Mother of a brand new baby and all the feelings involved with that journey from conception to the birth came back to me.

The somersaults your tummy does on discovering that a new life has started inside you.

The panic of whether you will be a good parent or not.

The worry about your growing babys health,the excitement when the first tiny flutters of movement are felt.

The elation on seeing the fuzzy images at the first ultrasound scan and the anticipation of meeting this little person you have helped create.

So many emotions.

I wont experience those feelings again.

K and I have made sure there will be no more babies for us, which is of course sensible considering that we are Forty and forty plus with probably more than our fair share of children already.

Please don't get me wrong..............................I know how privileged I am to have five beautiful, healthy children.

I never lose sight of how precious they all are, having experienced eleven miscarriages........... I know only too well. I am what used to be called apparently, in the medical profession, an habitual aborter. How awful is that!!?

I do hope they never use that term any more.

So yes, I do look at my children every day and count my blessings.................And I will get used to the fact that my having babies days are over. Eventually.

So to the new parents opposite - I wish then luck and happiness as they begin the most amazing journey. This is where the fun really begins!

UPDATE

4.30pm Second daughter(7) runs in from the garden, full of excitement, face beaming and announces "Dandelion has had THREE babies,quickly come and see!!!"

(We've had pet guinea pigs for years, some have died and some have had babies...lots of babies!)

I pop outside to check all is well and there they are...........three tiny pigs! They are very small and very soft with a proud looking Mum and smug looking Dad close by.

I don't suppose it's that often your pets and your neighbours have as much in common.

Funny this should happen after the thoughts and reflection about procreation I had yesterday.

Guinea pigs reproduce with alarming regularity. They are randier than rabbits, it's a fact so I may not be having any more children myself but I will have plenty of baby Guinea pigs to look after!!

Sleep,Farts and Soaps.

It was 5.37am. I really was knackered.

The sleep deprivation was taking its toll.

Baby boy always wakes between 5.30 and 6am,beaming with the anticipation of another day with me dancing to his tune. Bear in mind, he still breastfeeds at night with startling regularity,usually from around 1am until sunrise.

Some babies sleep through by the time they reach 6 months,apparently. None of mine ever have.

Youngest daughter aged 3 (just),rises between 6 & 6.30 and second daughter between 6.30 & 7am.

I begrudgingly peel my tired body from my bed (well,the 2 inches of bed I'm left with as both Baby Boy and Y.D. prefer our bed to their own), to referee the girls as they are unable to spend more than five minutes together without W.W.3 occurring.Or so I thought.

Having staggered from the bathroom,still struggling to get my brain into gear, I hear shrieks of girly laughter and frivolity.The girls weren't arguing........they were having fun.......TOGETHER!!!!

Peering into their bedroom (now wide awake due to the shock) I see the reason for their obvious amusement. They were taking turns to sit on a re-discovered stocking-filler from last Christmas. The good old Whoopie Cushion! I couldn't help laughing along with them, especially when the older sister plonked Baby Boy onto it,much to his bewilderment,which made them both fall into hysterics. The fun continued for a good twenty minutes. I was no longer grumpy.

Thanks for lifting my spirits,girls!

Returning to the matter of sleep,second daughter did,surprisingly, need to be woken up on Tuesday morning.

"Mummy" she inquires, in a very slow,croaky little voice,"Why do you make me go to bed when I'm not tired and now you wake me up when I am?"

Second daughter often says things which make me smile.

Last night whilst watching Eastenders (OK - I confess!),she remarked "well, we all know that something bad will happen because every time they are supposed to have a happy day on programmes like Eastenders or Coronation Street,bad things always happen!"

Hmmm............maybe her bedtime should revert back from 8 to 7.30pm.!?

Yes ,I confess I watch Eastenders and Coronation Street. Religiously.

A teensy bit miffed

This proves how over fussy and a tad ungrateful I can be sometimes!
I've just looked at the posting I did yesterday. You see,rather tragically it was a momentous occasion for me as I do lead a rather sheltered life and the fact that I had written about my life and exposed it for others to read (hopefully) was,in fact a rather big deal for me.
I scribbled it down on a scrap of paper and left it on the desk.
My son came home from school and saw it. He was obviously outraged at the possibility of me having to use the computer when it is always absolutely necessary for him to use it for msn/My Space/listening to music etc,etc as soon as he gets home.

"Mum,shall I type this in for you because I'll do it alot faster than you?" says eldest son

"Ok,thanks but don't miss any out and make sure it's grammatically correct - I don't want people to think I'm thick." I reply.

Ok, he only missed out a few things but if you have seen my profile you will know that I am a bit fussy and this was my very first blog. IT WAS SPECIAL TO ME!!!!

Sorry Son............I do appreciate your help....................but I wanted to do it!!!!

Having a word with myself.

I wasn't going to do a Blog.
I thought-why would anyone be ineterested in the confused, slightly senile ramblings of a 40 year old housewife and Mum?
I asked my eldest son what he thought and he reminded me that it can be just like writing a diary (which is very therapeutic I find) and also that I could only write it when I have the time-there's no law to say I have to write a clever/amusing/interesting blog daily. Phew.
Hooray, I thought-I'll do it. At least, I'll have a go.
I felt quite brave.You see I am a scaredy-cat.I don't like doing new things much.I am a creature of habit.I live in my own little bubble, surrounded by all things familiar to me, feeling permanently on the edge of everything going pear-shaped.I have to stick to my routines and rituals to prevent myself from scrabbling down over the edge.

Oh dear. That's a bit worrying.

This weekend, the things I have been moaning most about are:

1.) Why my eldest daughter had 'dropped out' of Sixth Form to work full-time, at 17 years old?
2.) How much I would love a lie in, I haven't had one for about 7 years!
3.) Why is our just turned 3 year-old ALWAYS in our bed, space-invading, every morning?
4.) When did my 16 year-old son lose the ability to speak in sentences rather than grunts? (Though he did manage a sentence this morning.Which was nice.)
5.) Why does my house always look like a very badly organised car-boot sale?
6.) Did I really argue with everything my Mother said to me when I was only 7 years old?
7.) Will our 8 month old ever start sleeping for more than 10 minutes at a time?


Then I saw the latest news on T.V.
11 days.
Then I realised how incredibly lucky I am.